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12 Times Ryan Reynolds Completely Owned Twitter In 2015

Protect @VancityReynolds at all costs.

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1. On thinking out loud:

When I think out loud, it sounds nothing like Morgan Freeman.

2. On #squadgoals:

So cute. Asked my mom out to lunch and she yelled, "Squad-Goals!". I laughed pretty hard before never ever seeing her again.

3. On kitesurfing while dead:

The great thing about kite surfing is that - depending on the wind - you can continue kite surfing up to an hour after dying.

4. On parental stress:

Nothing better than spending an entire morning staring into my baby daughter's eyes, whispering, "I can't do this".

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5. On morning routines:

In the morning, I like to let the dogs out and sing, "Who let the dogs out" before punching myself in the face as hard as I fucking can.

6. On taking grocery shopping to the next level:

Next time you're grocery shopping, imagine David Attenborough narrating. It really next-levels the whole thing.

7. On running for president:

If I were running for President, I'd wear a suit made of prime sirloin steak. To illustrate my hunger for power.

8. On regretting One Direction tattoos:

Do NOT make me regret this One Direction tattoo on my lower back, fellas.

Who's gonna tell him?

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9. On the reality of surviving in the wild:

If I was on @BearGrylls show, I'd look heroic. But if cameras aren't rolling he'd be carrying me everywhere in his strong arms or backpack.

We feel you, Ryan.

10. On limits:

I'd walk through fire for my daughter. Well not FIRE, because it's dangerous. But a super humid room. But not too humid, because my hair.

11. On creative fan art:

Paint one mural of Zayn on the hood of your car using gold leaf and real hair, and suddenly you're "obsessed".

12. And on being honest:

My daughter's only 6 months old and already drawing. I'd hang it on the fridge but honestly, it's absolute garbage.

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