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One Thanksgiving while I was in middle school, my aunt and uncle brought their new, excitable dog. We brought my grumpy, fat Scottish terrier. A fight broke out and my mom and sister had to rush our poor Daisy to the vet for surgery to save her ear. About 15 years later, my parents… Read More

My fiance and I went to the grocery store and among a few other things, we picked up a pregnancy test. I have irregular periods, so it wasn't so much a pregnancy scare as it was to just make sure. Anyway, we're checking out and the young male cashier turns to my fiance and says, "What… Read More

The live action Beauty and the Beast. During Be Our Guest, they sing the line, "Aftet all miss, this is France," and then they have a knife chop off the "head" of a banana in a reference to the French Revolution. My fiance and I were in a packed theater and we LOST IT because it was… Read More

I think about the black dress Taylor Swift wore coming down the stairs in the Blank Space music video. All the fashion in that video was amazing. First music video to ever take my breath away, I watched it at least five times in a row.

Not in school, but I went to a religious summer camp when I was in 5th grade. There were lots of weird things about my counselor, but the kicker was her thoughts on relationships. "Love is like a box," she said, "and you can't open it until you're married. That includes holding hands… Read More

I was at IHOP with friends following my knee surgery, and I ordered chocolate chip pancakes. He had been weird and creepy all night, but as he handed me my bill, he said, "So, do people call you 'chocolate chip'? I responded "No...I'm white..."

Telling my friend he should pick up his shit in his house so his dog wouldn't chew on it. Their dog was a puppy that chewed on everything, and the final straw for me was when he criticized (privately, to me) his then girlfriend for complaining about the dog chewing on her bra and… Read More

The Back Door in Bloomington, IN. It's literally the back half of another bar; you get to it via an alley. I'm an ally of the LGBTQ community, and I have gone to the Back Door many times for drag shows, and they are some of the best forms of entertainment I've ever seen. Everyone… Read More

I call them gross.

"I told you 859 times!" If anything involves a number, it's ALWAYS 859.