For When You've Lost Yourself.
At some point last year, I lost myself. Like a lot of other twenty-something's, I was feeling alone, confused, and scared. I feared what was to come in the future, but mostly, I was afraid of myself. Suddenly, I was capable of making new decisions and disregarding morals and values that had once driven me.
Maybe some of you have been there, too. Maybe you've woken up, taken one hard look in the mirror, and not liked the reflection that you see. Maybe you have seen things or done things that you regret, things that you can't take back, and wished more than anything that you could change the past. Or, and this is what I do the most, you wish that you could go back and be the girl you used to be.
Well, this one's for you.
I only have a few things to say because, let's be honest, no one reads a long post.
First of all, I want to tell you that it is okay. As cliché and overrated as that sounds, I want you to know that it is okay. It is okay to make mistakes. It is okay to have regrets. And it is okay to miss the girl you used to be, a girl who was naïve to some of mess that plagues our world. Why is it okay, you might ask? Because sometimes, we have to go through a rough patch in order to become who we are meant to be. If everything in life was easy and hassle-free, we wouldn't find strength, courage, or determination. Mostly, though, I believe that every single thing in life happens for a reason. I believe that when something bad happens, something good will come from it later. So, look back on your past, take a breathe, and mutter the words 'It is okay.' Because your past makes you who you are, which is beautiful, special, and dang important.
Second of all, I want you to know that you will never be that girl again, the girl you used to be. I know that sounds harsh, but you can't change the past and erase things that you've done. However, and this is the silver lining, you can be better than that girl. You've got scars and bruises, but instead of letting life beat down on you, fight back! Stand on your own two feet with your head held high and don't let your own past keep you from living out your dreams. Because when you fight back, you become a stronger, more confident version of that girl you used to be. You're now a girl who doesn't take crap from anybody or anything, and you are a fighter.
Third of all, I want to tell you that you have to accept your past. You have to look back at everything you've done, every painful memory, and every mistake. Look back, just once, and have a good cry. Let your makeup run down your face, cry ugly tears, and scream as loud as you can into your pillow. But then, get up, dust yourself off, make a playlist of all of your favorite songs. Sing, dance, and act crazy. Use your hairbrush as a microphone, jump up and down on the bed, and laugh so hard that it hurts. Because at the end of the day, life is too short to beat yourself up or to waste time wishing that you are someone different than who you are.
It's okay to make mistakes. It's okay to have regrets. And it's okay to miss the girl you used to be. But realize this. Who you are is stronger than that girl. The new you has overcome. She's a fighter. And because of that, be proud of the reflection you see in the mirror. Forgive yourself, move on, and love yourself.