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    Jun 28, 2018

    30 Things For People Who Are Basically Dead Inside

    I'm not a badass, I'm a sad ass.

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    1. A giant stuffed Gudetama to snuggle with when life is peak trash and you just need the company of a sad sad egg.

    Get it from Urban Outfitters for $32.

    2. A Wednesday Addams–inspired dress perfect for those days when you can barely deal with getting out of bed and throwing something on.

    Promising review: "This was actually the best piece of clothing I've ever purchased, it was perfect. Thought it would be too small, but fit like a glove!" —black mermaid

    Get it from Amazon for $11.42 (sizes XS–XXL, six colors).

    3. A Slytherin backpack because you're never gonna stop claiming the house you clearly belong to.

    Get it from Hot Topic for $27.93.

    4. A pair of shoes inspired by the wallpaper in The Haunted Mansion so you can stay haunted wherever you go.

    Promising review: "Very nice shoes, however if you buy this product I would suggest ordering up a size, as it runs a little small." —Angel

    Get them from Amazon for $34.95+ (women's sizes 6–10).

    5. And a pair of socks that'll look deathly cute paired with those shoes.

    Get them from Inu Inu for $9.95 (one size).

    6. A candle for any dog lovers who need to unwind after a long day of soul-draining interactions with people.

    Promising review: "Bought it for the title...but the scent is totally fabulous. Very fresh and floral." —jessica

    Get it from ModCloth for $14.99.

    7. A T-shirt proudly featuring a heart-warming truth we all know.

    Get it from bored walk on Etsy for $25+ (sizes S–3X, three colors).

    8. An egg mold that is the only egg mold you'll need when it's time to get your dark AF ass out of bed in the morning.

    Promising review: "This is my new friend! I fry eggs for every lunch since I got this form! It can be a little tricky to get whites to remain in shape for a few seconds before it solidifies. I have used the spatula to hold the shape to the pan, and it has gone quite well." —Amazon Customer

    Get it from Amazon for $9.89.

    9. And a coffee mug to pay homage to one of the few joys that exists in this life — caffeine.

    Promising review: "Great quality and fast shipping! Beautiful clear design." —emma colby

    Get it from Pyknic on Etsy for $16.

    10. A coffin phone case so you can get across how much you don't want to be on the phone to everyone around you.

    Get it from Valfre for $38 (compatible with iPhone 6/6s, 7/7+, and 8/8+).

    11. A gender roles tombstone cutoff for those of us who are fed up with living in a gender-obsessed world and not afraid to show it.

    Get it from Flavnt for $27 (sizes XS–3X).

    12. A pin featuring a precious angel who says all you'll ever need to say.

    Get it from The Escapist Artist on Etsy for $1.50.

    13. A coloring book filled with existential characters so you can laugh and color your way out of an existential crisis (hopefully).

    Promising review: "Absolutely brilliant. This is one of the funniest gifts I've ever given — to a psychologist, no less. Everyone in the office was rolling!" —Stefani P.

    Get it from Amazon for $5.67.

    14. An existential bunny print that just may warm your cold dead heart.

    Get it from Occult Trash on Etsy for $2.74 (choose from five different bunnies).

    15. A skeleton T-shirt to showcase your one and only mood.

    Get it from Personal Hell on Big Cartel for $20 (sizes M–XL).

    16. A ~blue~ crossbody bag for anyone who rejects all "you can't always get what you want" sentiments.

    Get it from Valfre for $58.

    17. A body part pin worthy of wearing when you are feeling a lil' extra gruesome.

    Get them from Inu Inu for $4.94 each (choose from four different body parts).

    18. A cute and spooky cat sticker I need four of, as will you.

    Get it from Christopher Jeffery on Redbubble for $2.47+ (four sizes).

    19. A yoga mat so you can show the world that wine is your life-blood while you self-care the day away.

    Get it from ModCloth for $32.

    20. A pair of socks guaranteed to turn some heads because they make it *explicitly* clear you have no hecks to give at all.

    Promising review: "I wore these for the first time when I was traveling. I knew I would have to take my shoes off at security, but I honestly didn't think that the TSA would look that closely at my feet. Well, they do. I was standing in the body scanner, and the agent exclaimed 'Do your socks say @sshole?!' I blushed so hard, but smiled and nodded. He waved me out and had me stop on the mat in order to call over another agent. He pointed at my feet and said 'Look at her socks!' which made everyone around me look down at my feet. Two people asked me where they could find them. It was pretty awesome, and gave everyone a laugh." —Lisa Lanigan

    Get them from Amazon for $10.99 (available in 35 styles).

    21. A pin that is all of us every day we make the mistake of leaving the dark cave where we reside.

    Get it from Valfre for $12.

    22. A black crewneck sweater you'll feel motivated to wear when you spend your energy on the only thing worth doing — being petty AF.

    Get it from Inu Inu for $39.95 (sizes S–XXL, two colors).

    23. A cast-iron dinosaur bottle opener so you can open up a cold one with a big heavy dead thing while you guess how much longer the human race has on this earth.

    Get it from ModCloth for $24.99.

    24. A T-shirt featuring an adorable yet terrifying bunny to warn people to flee from your dark soul.

    That rabbit's dynamite.

    Get it from Snorg Tees for $22+ (sizes S–3XL, available in T-shirt, tanks, hoodies, and junior sizes).

    25. A precious patch that'll remind you we're all goners in the end and nothing matters, so no need to stress over silly sh*t!

    Get it from Paper Kindness on Etsy for $6.22.

    26. A T-shirt for anyone who's ready to warn others on the dangers of breaking an already deceased, sad little heart.

    Get it from Inu Inu for $19.95 (one size).

    27. And a black denim jacket with a patch so you can throw it on over that tee and let your inner badass triumph over your sad ass.

    Get it from Valfre for $98 (sizes XS–XXL).

    28. A Darth Vader alarm clock who will make sure you wake up on the dark side every single morning.

    Get it from Spencer's for $18.98.

    29. A cozy crewneck sweater to wear to the grave, because it's critical to remind everyone to leave you TF alone at all times.

    Get it from Inu Inu for $44.97 (sizes S–3XL, two colors).

    30. And a set of ~pretty~ dark covers for anyone who wants to crawl into their bed and never come out on a regular basis. You can also hide from the world via these matching curtains 👀.

    Promising review: "Item arrived as described, including the pillows. My wife is very happy, therefore I am very happy. The red is just like the photo — deep and rich. The matching curtains are rocking too." —JC Grossman

    Get them from Amazon: the comforter set for $69.99+ (three sizes, set includes one comforter, two shams, one bedskirt, and three decorative cushions), and the curtain set for $29.99 (set includes two 40"x84" curtain panels with attached valance and sheer backings, and two tiebacks)

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    The reviews for this post have been edited for length and clarity.

    Looking for the perfect gift for any occasion? Check out all of BuzzFeed’s gift guides!

    Allison Krausman / BuzzFeed

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