15 Office Crimes That Should Actually Be Illegal

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1. Holding grudges against your co-workers.

Ain't nobody got time for that.

2. Getting angry at inanimate office equipment.

The printer can't hear you yelling, but guess who can? EVERYONE ELSE.

3. Wearing the same outfit as a co-worker and then pointing it out to everyone all day.

It's funny the first time you notice it, but after that, stop. JUST STOP.

4. Being a passive-aggressive jerk.

Be an active-aggressive jerk or don't be anything at all. End of discussion.

5. Being an active-aggressive jerk.

On second thought, maybe it's better to be passive-aggressive.

6. Dressing inappropriately.

You're at work, not a Miami discotheque in the '80s.

7. Talking about politics.

Can we please just not? K thanks bye.

8. Eating other people's food.

There's a special level of Hell reserved for you, lunch stealer.

9. Not using headphones.

Your music is terrible, and you are terrible. Get some headphones. They're great.

10. Getting too drunk at a work happy hour.

A sloppy night with friends is much different than a couple of drinks with your boss. Learn the difference.

11. Having loud personal phone conversations.

News flash: Nobody cares about your life stuff.

12. Using meeting rooms for something other than meetings.

Um, they're called meeting rooms, not "watch cat videos while you eat a tub of potato salad for lunch" rooms.

13. Using paper for anything.

Paper is so '90s. Welcome to the future, tree hater!

14. Flirting with your work crush.

Work is for working. Flirting is the horrible mistake you make at the Christmas party.

15. Forcing people to dress up for costume contests.

You might win the contest, but in the end we're all losers.

(All images provided courtesy of FOX)

Don't miss an all-new season of Brooklyn Nine-Nine, premiering Sunday, September 27 at 8:30/7:30c on FOX.

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