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8 Unexpected Things You Learn About When You Move In With A Girl

The horror!

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1. The mess.


Television would have us believe that women have an amazing ability to look tidy all of the time, whereas us hairy-arsed men are disgusting slobs who appear to explode mess wherever we go.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

It turns out that women are as messy as men. Who'd have thought it?

Women tend to have a lot more things than men that have a habit of going everywhere. Make-up, hair products, clothes, shoes. These are all obstacles that need to be avoided whilst navigating you way to bed.

2. Upturned Plugs.


As I mentioned above, women own more things than men do. A lot of these are electrical products for doing hair things (I don't pretend to understand them all). In Britain, we have this plug to connect our products to electricity.


This causes problems. These have a bad habit compared to American plugs, in that they have a tendency to land pointy bits up.

Having more of these strewn across a floor turns your bedroom into a barefooted maze of pain. Ever stood on Lego? Hurts don't it? These bad boys do this to your feet.

3. You have to kill everything.


Now I'm not a squeamish kinda guy. I'll happily stomp on various bugs that happen to be invading my home, but when you move in with a girl, everything must die. In the last few weeks I've had do away with the following:

3 - slugs.

5 - moths / flying insect.

Countless spiders.

The problem with women is they assume that all men are happy to kill these things. Most men are not. I would happily leave a small spider potter around my house if I thought the effort involved in killing it was greater than the net reward, but women have another idea.

All things with more that four legs have to be gone, and gone immediately. This poses problems when your involved in an activity you enjoy, like watching sport. Everything must be dropped before the shrieking and hitting happens.

4. You find out your not as funny as you thought.


This one came as a shock to me. Before you move in with a girl, you're hilarious. They laugh at everything you say. But once you move in with them you realise they were just trying to humour you.

6. You learn things you never thought you would.


Before I moved in with my girlfriend I knew various things. How much beer I could drink before falling down, my favourite sport teams stats. After living with a girl for a bit you learn "girl things". I now know how blend make-up and how to back-comb my hair to give it more volume.

8. You can't use her expensive shampoo on your body hair.

Paul Mitchell / Via

I learnt this the hard way. After informing my girlfriend I used her good stuff on my beard she replied with "If you do that again I will explode with both rage and sadness".

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