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    14 Olympic Events Even You Could Medal In

    You're gonna break so many records.

    1. The Netflix Series Sprint


    Your ability to get though an entire season of Stranger Things, Orange Is the New Black, and House of Cards (with a few episodes of Adventure Time between them) in one single weekend is worthy of celebration.

    2. The Social Network Pentathlon

    It takes a huge amount of finger strength to switch back and forth between Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, and Tinder without getting cramps.

    3. Individual All-Around Dish Stacking

    Facebook: IFDLLEOE

    It takes a lot of training to pull off a feat like this, but you've been doing dishes for a long time and you've mostly focused your training on stacking, not putting away.

    4. The Competition for Most Excuses Not to Leave the House

    Instagram: @brumarquezine / BuzzFeed Brasil

    If canceling plans were a sport, you'd be the Serena Williams of it.

    5. Women's Individual Shutting Dudes Down

    EMI Music / Via

    A sport that doesn't require being a good sport.

    6. Short-Distance Kitchen Disasters

    Twitter: @bekissima

    All those failed attempts to re-create Tasty recipes will finally pay off.

    7. The Competition for Worst Memory

    Disney / Via

    Because you deserve recognition for the staggering number of times you've heard someone say, "Didn't I already tell you about this?"

    8. Synchronized Sign Reading

    Not everyone is up to the task of deciphering the importance of each sign on an astrology chart in order find their perfect soulmate based on the movement of planets and stars thousands and thousands of miles away, but you make it happen.

    9. Mixed Teams Fastest to Mute a Group Text Competition

    Twitter: @AngieTaughtMe

    Because anyone who puts up with daily "good morning" emails between every member of their extended family has earned a spot on the podium.

    10. Snack Deadlifting

    Instagram: @thalia

    Because not everyone drinks, the IAC has elected not to hold the "most happy hour drinks before happy hour ends in 15 minutes" event at this year's games, but you've still got a shot at this one.

    11. Black-Clothes-Wearing Marathon

    12. The Make Dessert out of Whatever You've Got Around the House Competition

    Twitter: @cleytu

    Because the tireless effort you've put into mixing various cooking ingredients to make microwave mug brownies makes you a national treasure.

    13. Not Washing Your Hair for Three Weeks Endurance Race

    14. The Championship for Excellence in Doing Several Forms of Nothing at All

    Twitter: @badgalrerer

    Start singing the national anthem, because you've got this one in the bag!

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