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14 Olympic Events Even You Could Medal In

You're gonna break so many records.

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1. The Netflix Series Sprint

Netflix

Your ability to get though an entire season of Stranger Things, Orange Is the New Black, and House of Cards (with a few episodes of Adventure Time between them) in one single weekend is worthy of celebration.

2. The Social Network Pentathlon

youtube.com

It takes a huge amount of finger strength to switch back and forth between Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, and Tinder without getting cramps.

3. Individual All-Around Dish Stacking

It takes a lot of training to pull off a feat like this, but you've been doing dishes for a long time and you've mostly focused your training on stacking, not putting away.
Facebook: IFDLLEOE

It takes a lot of training to pull off a feat like this, but you've been doing dishes for a long time and you've mostly focused your training on stacking, not putting away.

4. The Competition for Most Excuses Not to Leave the House

If canceling plans were a sport, you'd be the Serena Williams of it.
Instagram: @brumarquezine / BuzzFeed Brasil

If canceling plans were a sport, you'd be the Serena Williams of it.

5. Women's Individual Shutting Dudes Down

EMI Music / Via youtube.com

A sport that doesn't require being a good sport.

6. Short-Distance Kitchen Disasters

All those failed attempts to re-create Tasty recipes will finally pay off.
Twitter: @bekissima

All those failed attempts to re-create Tasty recipes will finally pay off.

7. The Competition for Worst Memory

Disney / Via giphy.com

Because you deserve recognition for the staggering number of times you've heard someone say, "Didn't I already tell you about this?"

8. Synchronized Sign Reading

Not everyone is up to the task of deciphering the importance of each sign on an astrology chart in order find their perfect soulmate based on the movement of planets and stars thousands and thousands of miles away, but you make it happen.
traceedunblazier.com

Not everyone is up to the task of deciphering the importance of each sign on an astrology chart in order find their perfect soulmate based on the movement of planets and stars thousands and thousands of miles away, but you make it happen.

9. Mixed Teams Fastest to Mute a Group Text Competition

Because anyone who puts up with daily "good morning" emails between every member of their extended family has earned a spot on the podium.
Twitter: @AngieTaughtMe

Because anyone who puts up with daily "good morning" emails between every member of their extended family has earned a spot on the podium.

10. Snack Deadlifting

Because not everyone drinks, the IAC has elected not to hold the "most happy hour drinks before happy hour ends in 15 minutes" event at this year's games, but you've still got a shot at this one.
Instagram: @thalia

Because not everyone drinks, the IAC has elected not to hold the "most happy hour drinks before happy hour ends in 15 minutes" event at this year's games, but you've still got a shot at this one.

11. Black-Clothes-Wearing Marathon

instagram.com

Being a natural goth has its benefits.

12. The Make Dessert out of Whatever You've Got Around the House Competition

Because the tireless effort you've put into mixing various cooking ingredients to make microwave mug brownies makes you a national treasure.
Twitter: @cleytu

Because the tireless effort you've put into mixing various cooking ingredients to make microwave mug brownies makes you a national treasure.

13. Not Washing Your Hair for Three Weeks Endurance Race

14. The Championship for Excellence in Doing Several Forms of Nothing at All

Start singing the national anthem, because you've got this one in the bag!
Twitter: @badgalrerer

Start singing the national anthem, because you've got this one in the bag!

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