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21 Of The Worst Christmas Jumpers Money Can Buy You

Tis' the season to be sexist.

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1. When you want to be the kind of guy who walks around with oral sex jokes on a hoodie.

Get it here if you are incapable of flirting for yourself.
cafepress.co.uk

Get it here if you are incapable of flirting for yourself.

2. When you want to be the kind of guy who wears vegetable-based oral sex jokes on a jumper.

Get it here if you have a high tolerance for looking like a cock.
ebay.co.uk

Get it here if you have a high tolerance for looking like a cock.

3. When you want to look like a prick, and you like puns.

Get it here if you really want.
etsy.com

Get it here if you really want.

4. When you want to give the vibe that you might be a paedophile.

Get it here if you think you can pull off being this creepy.
amazon.co.uk

Get it here if you think you can pull off being this creepy.

5. When you want everyone to know just how superior you are.

Get it here if you secretly think you're cleverer than all your friends.
etsy.com

Get it here if you secretly think you're cleverer than all your friends.

6. When you're desperate to make a cock joke and you don't care much for aesthetics.

Get it here if that describes you to a T.
amazon.co.uk

Get it here if that describes you to a T.

7. When you want to imply that a woman having sex makes her the opposite of good.

Get it here if you're only slightly misogynistic.
amazon.co.uk

Get it here if you're only slightly misogynistic.

8. When you want to show everyone you meet the mythical North Pole strip club, where elves pay with dominoes??

Get it here if you don't care about ruining Santa for everyone.
amazon.co.uk

Get it here if you don't care about ruining Santa for everyone.

9. When Christmas jumpers are just too mainstream and you want to stick it to the man.

Get it here if you hate joy.
amazon.co.uk

Get it here if you hate joy.

10. When you want to give children nightmares.

Get it here if you hate kids.
amazon.co.uk

Get it here if you hate kids.

Mery Chistmass!

11. When you want everyone to know you take coke.

Get it here if you like some class As with your turkey dinner.
etsy.com

Get it here if you like some class As with your turkey dinner.

12. When it's Christmas, but you still need to tell the whole world you smoke weed.

Get it here if you're feeling festive and stoned.
etsy.com

Get it here if you're feeling festive and stoned.

13. When you can't even be bothered to make a joke based around your shit pun.

Get it here if you're this lazy.
etsy.com

Get it here if you're this lazy.

14. When you want everyone at the office party to know you have big testicles.

Get it here if you've got larger than average balls.
etsy.com

Get it here if you've got larger than average balls.

15. When you don't know how to horizontally flip an image.

Get it here if you care that much.
etsy.com

Get it here if you care that much.

16. When you want everyone to know how wild you get after a couple of G&Ts.

Get it here if you can't handle your drinks.
etsy.com

Get it here if you can't handle your drinks.

17. When you really want to sexualise Father Christmas.

Get it here if you're really that horny.
etsy.com

Get it here if you're really that horny.

18. When you want to get your Uncle Keith on to the subject of multiculturalism before lunch this year.

Get it here if the traditional family argument is part of the fun for you.
etsy.com

Get it here if the traditional family argument is part of the fun for you.

19. When you'd probably wear a screen around your neck playing porn if you could.

Get it here if you insist.
amazon.co.uk

Get it here if you insist.

20. When you want to have sex with Christmas?

Get it here if that's what you're into.
amazon.co.uk

Get it here if that's what you're into.

21. When you're already praying for death.

amazon.co.uk

Get it here if you hate yourself.