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25 Things Everyone Who Went Underage Clubbing In Britain Will Understand

All bouncers ask for your star sign as a legitimate form of secondary identification.

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2. All the boys would worry that they wouldn't get in wearing trainers, so would end up wearing their school shoes.

Twitter: @ypleah

And all the girls would wear heels that they would probably take off several times throughout the night.

3. You would pre-lash at whoever's parents were out that night.

Instagram: @j_e_n_n_z

And you would drink Lambrini that you bought at that corner shop that served literally anyone.


5. If you were an experienced underage clubber you might go for Glen's or Cactus Jack's.

Instagram: @beckimckinney

7. Or you would have a drunken journey into town on the bus.

Instagram: @danielle267

You would be very loud and take lots of pictures with your new digital camera, and everyone else on the bus would hate you.


9. You planned every detail of how you would get in, including which order you would queue in.

The old-looking people would go first and last, and the short people who couldn't grow boobs or a beard would be sandwiched in the middle.

10. Half of you would be using an older sibling's old passport, and the other half would be using some very dodgy "novelty European identification card".

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The bouncers obviously knew you were underage. Whether you got in depended entirely on if they cared or not.

11. If you couldn't get a novelty British citizenship pass or your cousin's expired passport you might resort to "photoshopping" a copy of your passport on MS Paint. / Microsoft

And if you were particularly good at it you'd have to do all your mates' as well.


13. You would get to the club really early because someone told you that the bouncer doesn't get there until nine.


So there would be a good two hours where it was just you and your mates trying to act normal in an empty club.

15. You might get some £1 shots of Apple Sourz off a lady wearing a shot belt.

Instagram: @ambercolclough

She definitely wouldn't give enough of a shit to ID you.


21. You'd all talk about how absolutely mortal you were even though you'd only had a couple of WKDs and an Apple Sourz shot.

Instagram: @jas_mnn

23. You'd stay until the end to make the most of your entry fee and partly because no one wanted to be the one who suggested leaving.

Instagram: @craigporter_official

24. Eventually you'd all get into a taxi and go back to your friend's house.

Instagram: @sazgrace

If their parents were home you'd have to sneak in really quietly.

25. But you'd always make time to go to the kebab shop and order their whole menu.

Instagram: @jackallo78

Some habits die hard.