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29 Tweets You'll Find Funny If You're Not Straight

"Babadook, if you could say one thing to your former closeted and monstrous self - what would it be?"

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1.

I believe God created Adam and Eve, Adam and Steve, and the less talked about lesbian couple Judy and Sheila who mostly kept to themselves.

2.

My mom just said "how you like both boys and girls and you still single?"

3.

So my uncles who just got married are both named David and this is their cake πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ‘πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘¬

4.

Babadook, if you could say one thing to your former closeted and monstrous self - what would it be?

5.

When your straight friend Jean makes a funny joke

6.

I'm interested in: βšͺ️ men βšͺ️ women πŸ”˜ crying about fictional characters who will never love me back no matter how much I tweet about them

7.

*to a straight couple* which one is the lesbian and which one is the other lesbian???

8.

Me: so my girlfriend- Straight people: OMG that's great I love gay people my friend's sister's cousin's dog walker is gay maybe you know her

9.

10.

2 years ago today I came out πŸ˜›πŸŒˆ

11.

When did you first see yourself reflected in media?

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13.

Sorry I was led to believe that trans people were so skilled in combat that I should fear being alone in a bathroom with them

14.

i just found out that there is going to be a sequel to The L Word and got chills i can literally feel the gayness rushing through my body.

15.

My grindr went off in my Uber pool and the women in front of me said, "I recognize that sound. My husband plays tha… https://t.co/GZy4ld7Ye0

16.

Queer is a great word that can mean "long term straight partner but some experimental flirting" or "gay but reads critical theory"

17.

I love these old Chinese-Russian solidarity posters bc they always look like 2 happy dads just chilling on their ga… https://t.co/yCr2otPhvI

18.

gay culture is trying to telepathically communicate to visibly gay people you see in public that you're one of them

19.

Anyways here is a Stanley Tucci crying w laughter after being asked what wine pairs best with eating ass

20.

Straight girl- "ugh I should just be a lesbian, things would be so much easier" LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL THAT'S WHAT U THINK FAM

21.

me: ugh why do straight guys watching sports have to be so loud and annoying me watching RuPaul’s Drag Race:

22.

if dudes wear flip flops the media will call them gay but women could have their fist inside a vagina at Walmart and they'd be best friends

23.

Happy Pride Month aka Carly Rae Jepsen Appreciation Month

24.

Me trying to explain gay Twitter to people.

25.

me: my sexuality does not define me, im so much more than just a member of the LGBT+ community! also me:

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gay couples can't hold hands without getting a look or someone complaining yet I constantly see straight couples li… https://t.co/KMym2V3ZUT

28.

If heterosexuals had labels like butch, femme, or andro:

29.

do gay people only tweet is that their job