1. This adorable Father's Day card:
3yo (in bathroom): Mummy, can I put this sticker on Daddy's card? Me (in bed): Yes. 3yo: Will he love it? Me: Yes.
2. This list of serious grievances:
Kids' complaints on vacation: - No wifi on beach - Sand is sandy - Ocean has salt in it - Lobsters? I want pizza. - Too outdoorsy outside
3. This excellent resolution method that we could all learn from:
5yo and her friend just ended an argument by deciding they would "have a piece of cheese and calm down" So, yeah, she's mine.
4. This plumbing dilemma:
Our laundry room flooded because an apple chunk clogged the washer hose. Go ahead, have kids. They have pocket apples.
5. This unique look at the infant learning experience:
Steps babies take to learn about the world: 1) look 2) touch 3) smell 4) taste 5) destroy
6. This simple fix:
My 3yo "accidentally" unspooled the entire roll of toilet paper. But don't worry, he "fixed" it.
7. This clever parenting hack:
If you wait long enough to make dinner, everyone will just eat cereal. It's science.
8. This simple joy in life:
Just saw a cement mixer truck on the street and got excited. THIS IS WHAT FATHERHOOD HAS DONE TO ME!
9. This catch 22:
Parenting is stressful because when kids are loud, they're annoying and when they're quiet, they might be about to lose a limb or eyeball.
10. This interactive learning experience:
Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream.
11. This great logic:
[At dinner] Daughter: Daddy, how much of this meatball is meat? Me: Probably like 90% D: So it's 10% balls? Me: *spits out food*
12. This fancy outfit:
I let my toddler dress herself. She's wearing a cupcake.
13. This important information announcement:
Me: [in bathroom] 7yo: [knocks] MOMMY? Me: Yeah pal 7: IT'S ME Me: I know 7: YOUR SON Me: Knew that too
14. This silver lining:
watching the kids play hide and seek in the park and mine just hid behind a chain link fence at least we don't have to save for college
15. This genius idea:
I'm not saying I'm a parenting expert, but letting your kids have ice cream for breakfast makes the morning more pleasant.
16. This young talent:
Flyer for 7's band.They've already broken up 3 times & no one can play an instrument. Obviously, the next big thing.
17. This clever bargaining:
KIDS: [from the kitchen] dad…may we have ice cream? ME: no you may not [long pause] K: dad…may we be forgiven if we already had ice cream?
18. This specialised parenting diet:
The 20 pounds you put on making sure your toddler's leftover food doesn't go to waste. - The Toddler Twenty
19. This new kind of luxury:
When you have kids, "sleeping in" is just lying in bed trying to figure out what that crash was.
20. This insight into the world of work:
4-year-old: Why do you go to work? Me: They pay me a salary. 4-year-old: Me: 4-year-old: I don’t even like celery.
21. This modern parenting dilemma:
*looks up from phone* "Kids!! we're leaving the playground in 22 percent."
22. This modern day warfare:
I'm at my most hostage negotiator when I see my 3 year old holding a permanent marker without the lid.
23. This handy alarm clock:
I woke up with a toddler's foot under my chin trying to pry my head off like a bottle cap in case you were thinking about having kids.
24. This race of a lifetime:
7: I'm beating you! Me: Ok. 7: I'm way ahead! Me: I see that. 7: I'm gonna win! Me:.... My son on the carousel horse in front of me.