1. I need a dress for Sarah's party.
2. But it's the end of the month, and there's no way I'm dropping £45 in Topshop.
3. I know I have enough dresses, but I suddenly hate all of them.
4. I'll pop into New Look and see if they have anything nice.
5. Everything in the window looks like something I might want if I was 16.
6. But I'm not 16.
7. But I still kind of want it.
8. OMG, that dress looks exactly like the one I saw in Topshop.
9. But the colour is slightly muddier.
10. And it looks a bit flimsier.
11. But it is also half the price, so I'm trying it on.
12. I didn't know I wanted a sleeveless faux-suede jacket, but looking at this one makes me think I do.
13. Ooh, look at these shoes they've just randomly placed about like little ornaments.
14. It's because they are as beautiful as ornaments.
15. I'll definitely pop into the shoe bit later.
16. These leggings look like actual leather trousers but they have an elasticated waist.
17. Absolute genius.
18. Sexy but comfortable.
19. Like me.
20. I'll try them on too.
21. Upstairs to the ~brands I've never heard of~ section.
22. Oh, and the business smart section.
23. For important business ladies.
24. Who have to adhere to a strict work dress code.
25. But still want to look fashionable.
26. If you have to wear bootcut suit trousers to work, I feel for you.
27. New Look do sportswear now?
28. THIS IS AMAZING.
29. This sports bra – or maybe it's a crop top – looks just like Nike.
30. And so do these leggings.
31. If I bought these leggings I'm sure I'd take up jogging.
32. And this vest feels so slinky.
33. And it has an unnecessary zip that would help me be good at sports.
34. OOOOH, look at that maxi dress.
35. That's just what I've been looking for.
36. It would be perfect for hot summer evenings when I haven't shaved my legs.
37. £15? That is a STEAL.
38. Oh wait, it's for children.
39. But aged 16.
40. I haven't put on ~that~ much weight since then. Trying it on.
41. OK, changing rooms.
42. This maxi dress doesn't have a zip. No worries, over the head it goes.
43. Oh no, I know where I've got bigger since I was 16.
44. Everything in New Look is elasticated apart from the bust section of this dress.
45. OK, sexy leather leggings, you're up next.
46. These look great.
47. Oh wait, from the rear view not so much.
48. Who knew that pleather could actually become see-through?
49. Oh, this muddy dress actually looks good.
50. It's exceedingly short, but who needs to bend over anyway.
51. And only £24.99. You are coming home with me, muddy dress.
52. Right, straight to the checkout before I get distracted.
53. Oh look, it's the shoe section of my dreams.
54. All of these shoes look BEAUTIFUL.
55. But also extremely painful.
56. How does anyone walk in these?
57. But for £14.99, who needs to walk.
58. It's amazing that they have all the sizes laid out.
59. Who wants to interact with a human when you can awkwardly rummage through a load of odd shoes?
60. Why do they put all the big sizes on the bottom shelf?
61. Tall girls tend to have big feet and we have the furthest to bend down.
62. Very inconsiderate.
63. Yep, I was right, I can't walk in these.
64. BUT THEY'RE SO PRETTY.
65. Oh look, those ones are just slightly uglier colours and they're in the sale.
66. £9.99 for a pair of shoes!!!
67. Who cares if I can't walk in them?
68. For that price I'll just take photos of myself in the mirror with them on.
69. Oh look, it's that suede-like waistcoat thing again.
70. I'll just try it on here.
71. Oh, it's beautiful.
72. And so reasonably priced for something you might think is suede from a distance.
73. A distance of about five miles.
74. I look like a budget Alexa Chung, but in a good way.
75. Useless jacket, you are coming home with me too.
76. Right, checkout.
77. And I mean it this time.
78. TRAINER SOCKS.
79. I'm always running out of these.
80. I seem to have quite a lot of things.
81. My arms kind of ache a bit.
83. How did I end up spending all that?
84. Still, I would have spent more in Topshop.