This Is How Lesbians Have Sex

Because lesbian sex in porn is just weird.

Step 1: Take off your lesbian attire.

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Step 2: Talk about your feelings.

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Step 3: Get yourself some scissors.

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The bigger the better.

Step 4: Cut your bra right off.

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This is known as "scissoring".

Step 5: Burn your bras.

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This is a sacrifice in the name of misandry.

Step 6: Hold hands, but not for too long.

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Step 7: Introduce your cats. (You can hold hands if you feel the urge.)

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Step 8: Get out the biggest dildos you own.

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If you don't own a dildo you can improvise with vegetables or television remote controls.

Step 9: Swordfight with your dildos.

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There are no winners and losers in sex, remember, it's all about getting to know each other.

Step 10: High-five your gal pal! You did it!

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Step 11: Remember to put back on your lesbian attire, and you might need to buy a new bra.

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So now the age-old mystery of how lesbians have sex is finally solved! You're welcome.