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18 Things You'll Understand If You're The Grandma Of Your Group

If it was up to you all parties would start at six and be over by ten.

1. Your friends really have to persuade you to leave the house.

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Going outside is a big risk, you might have a better time if you just stayed in bed.

2. Except when the plan involves eating something delicious.

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There are some foods which just aren't the same delivered, and those foods are worth leaving the house for.

3. Whenever you do leave the house there always seems to be music on slightly too loud.


Just so you have no clue what anyone's saying.

4. When it comes to booze you like quality over quantity.


But both is also good.

5. And your booze has to come with food.

Either before, during, or after. Or maybe all three.

6. Your friends always come to you for advice.

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Whether it's about their love life, or how long to roast a chicken for.

7. Probably because you just don't have the patience to sugar-coat stuff.


When you're more octogenarian than twentysomething you really understand that life is too short for these things.

8. You're not very good at staying up to date with popular culture.

You just don't have space in your brain to remember which celeb is dating who, it just all seems to change so fast these days.

And there'll never be a better album than Destiny's Child's The Writing's on the Wall anyway.

9. You're also bad at keeping up with what's happening on social media.

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Your friends have to fill you in with who's having a Twitter fight with who, and who's overly photoshopping their Instagrams.

10. You're easily shocked by your friends stories.

"You stayed out how late!?"

11. You spend your life waiting for your friends to arrive places.

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You don't understand why everyone else finds it so hard to be on time.

12. But your friends also have to keep reminding you that just because the party says it starts at eight, you don't actually have to arrive on the dot of eight.


Too many awkward arrivals where the host is still in the shower has taught you they might be right about this one.

13. Your bag is always a fountain of practical items.

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If someone has a blister they will look to you to retrieve a plaster that might have been in there since 2009.

And you always have painkillers, sanitary equipment, a small mirror, foldable hair brush, half a packet of fruit pastels, loyalty cards to cafés you only went to once, 25 receipts of things you thought you might return but never did, a large amount of change, four hair ties, and seven kirby grips.

14. You always bring a jacket, just in case it gets chilly later.


And you're a big fan of always carrying a little umbrella.

15. You're the friend that has to tell people when their plans are unrealistic.

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Because nobody is going to have fun if we try to do too much at once, and if you go to more than one party in an evening you'll spend most of your night travelling.

16. You often have to remind your friends that not everywhere is half an hour away.

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You also have to remind them that if it's more than half an hour away you're probably not coming.

17. You can't really do evenings that start after 9pm.


18. Because they kind of clash with your bedtime.

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But then again, most things clash with your bedtime.

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