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18 Things You'll Understand If You're The Grandma Of Your Group

If it was up to you all parties would start at six and be over by ten.

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2. Except when the plan involves eating something delicious.

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There are some foods which just aren't the same delivered, and those foods are worth leaving the house for.


7. Probably because you just don't have the patience to sugar-coat stuff.


When you're more octogenarian than twentysomething you really understand that life is too short for these things.


8. You're not very good at staying up to date with popular culture.

You just don't have space in your brain to remember which celeb is dating who, it just all seems to change so fast these days.

And there'll never be a better album than Destiny's Child's The Writing's on the Wall anyway.

9. You're also bad at keeping up with what's happening on social media.

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Your friends have to fill you in with who's having a Twitter fight with who, and who's overly photoshopping their Instagrams.

12. But your friends also have to keep reminding you that just because the party says it starts at eight, you don't actually have to arrive on the dot of eight.


Too many awkward arrivals where the host is still in the shower has taught you they might be right about this one.


13. Your bag is always a fountain of practical items.

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If someone has a blister they will look to you to retrieve a plaster that might have been in there since 2009.

And you always have painkillers, sanitary equipment, a small mirror, foldable hair brush, half a packet of fruit pastels, loyalty cards to cafés you only went to once, 25 receipts of things you thought you might return but never did, a large amount of change, four hair ties, and seven kirby grips.

15. You're the friend that has to tell people when their plans are unrealistic.

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Because nobody is going to have fun if we try to do too much at once, and if you go to more than one party in an evening you'll spend most of your night travelling.

16. You often have to remind your friends that not everywhere is half an hour away.

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You also have to remind them that if it's more than half an hour away you're probably not coming.


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