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18 Things You'll Understand If You're A Massive Lightweight

You're doing well if you make it past pre-drinks.

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1. The round system fills you with terror.

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Having to keep up with other people's drinking, plus if you want your money's worth there's no point getting half pints.

2. The only thing that scares you more is someone shouting "SHOTS!"


Because it will end in vomit.

3. Pre-drinking is a very dangerous game for you.


Sometimes it means you don't buy a single drink in the club, or sometimes you don't quite make it to the club.

4. But you've become an expert at convincing bouncers that you're sober.

5. Your friends know that you can be a liability and are always making sure that you're not going over the edge.

"Are you sure you wouldn't like a soft drink?"
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"Are you sure you wouldn't like a soft drink?"

6. But new friends don't know your limits and it can be hard to say no to them when they keep offering you drinks.

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7. You find it hard to save your drunk food until the end of the night.

You might have got a kebab on the way to the club before.

8. Having one casual glass of wine is never that casual for you.

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9. You're not exactly pro at networking during after work drinks.


Slurred speech doesn't convince people to promote you that easily.

10. You feel kind of bad that your friends have had to look after you quite a lot.

But on the plus side you've got very good at apologising.

11. You've drunk vommed way too many times.

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Quite often embarrassingly early.

12. And sadly, you've actually got quite good at it.


You're not proud of it, but you've definitely done it mid-night out.

13. Trying to drink during the day and the night is not an option.


You will need a serious nap in between.

14. Staying awake until the end of your own parties is a problem.


As is not being the one to chunder on your own sofa.

15. Sometimes you think you might have finally grown up and developed an adult's alcohol tolerance.

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"Yeah I can totally manage a whole bottle of wine."

16. Your friends will try and warn you that this will only end badly.


17. And they're always right.

18. But really you're glad that you're a lightweight because you save so much money.

You can get drunker for less money, it's actually the dream.