1. Finding jeans that fit your bum is a real and serious problem for you.
2. You always have to choose between having jeans fit your bum and being able to sit down.
3. And even when you do find a pair of jeans that fit, and are comfortable, they'll be saggy butt central by the afternoon.
4. As soon as you eat lunch your little tum expands and you need to do the cheeky unbutton.
5. You know that no number of squats will get you the Kim K butt.
6. Whenever you sit down in jeans the button gets swallowed into the folds.
7. Your lack of cushioning means your bum bones are exposed to the world.
8. And cycling can be a painful activity.
9. Finding shorts that fit you is even harder than finding jeans that fit you.
UGhHH I hate wearing shorts bc they're both too tight and too baggy. Like wtf who created this clothing/cut. 🙄👎🏼🚫☹️
You just have to choose between embracing the baggy bum and being able to sit down, or your arse looking amazing and never sitting down.
10. Bikini bottoms either give you muffin top or saggy butt.
11. You've definitely considered wearing something like this:
12. When you put on weight, it only ever goes to your tum.
13. You don't understand people who put all their weight on their bum and keep a flat stomach.
14. You've really considered doing some kind of squat routine to try to get a butt.
15. Your tum might even be bigger than your bum.
16. You have perfected how to make your arse look as big as possible in every photo.
17. And you are trained to subconsciously suck in your stomach whenever you see a camera coming out.
18. But really everyone has a lil' tum, and just cos you also have a really lil' bum, doesn't make yours any less cute.
19. And there's nothing you can't do with your lil' tum and your lil' bum that people with big booties and flat tummies can do.
20. So maybe it's time to stop pretending you'll ever do that squat routine, and appreciate your lil' bum for just how cute it is.
21. Be proud of your sausagey seal-esque figure.
