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12 Things You'll Know If You Were In A Same-Sex Relationship At School

Being baby queers together isn't easy.

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1. At some point it was probably a big secret.


It felt like the biggest secret you ever had. The most scandalous thing that had ever happened. And if people found out you felt you'd probably have to leave school.

2. And for some people it probably stayed that way.

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You'd find yourself purposefully ignoring them in public spaces so people wouldn't guess. You'd go through reactions of what people would think if they found out all the time. You'd move away from each other lightning-quick whenever someone walked in on you.

3. Being baby gays together meant that you went through a lot of baby gay drama together.

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Coming out is full of drama, whether it's to the world, or just coming out to yourself.

Some people have always kind of known they were queer, while for others it can be a sudden realisation that you are attracted to people of the same sex. And it can feel like a life sentence. You're always going to be "different" and for a teenager this is actually the worst thing in the world.

4. Your parents might not have known it was happening.


Every time I stayed over at my ex-girlfriend's she would drag the spare mattress into her room and we wouldn't use it. It was just for show.

More often than not you're just a best friend, who stays over a lot. And that can be glorious. Parents can say that boy can't stay in your room when you're 15, but they probably wouldn't stop your "best friend" from staying over.

You also get used to doing ~stuff~ very quietly.


5. Or you might choose to tell them.

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Telling your parents you're gay is a massive deal. Even if you have the most accepting parents it can feel like you're letting them down in some way. You're telling them that your life won't run as smoothly as others. You might not be able to provide grandkids as easily as they'd like. You're telling them that your life will probably be harder than if you were straight.

But maybe it turns out the only thing they're worried about is you cutting all your lovely hair off.

Or maybe coming out to your parents feels like your estranging yourself from them.

Everyone's story is different, and your's might have been wildly different from your partners, but it's highly likely you at least talked about it together.

6. Coming out at school can make you feel like a bit of a celebrity.


If you choose to come out at school, or if you were outed, good or bad it will be the hottest gossip on campus. Everyone from your year will know, and your coming out will have developed into a mythical tale. The year above and below will definitely know. The rest of the school probably won't know your name but will refer to you as "that queer kid", and you'll probably be hot goss in the staff room too.

7. Someone will be a dick about it.


Or if you're unlucky everyone will be a dick about it. They'll ask you intrusive questions, they'll refuse to get changed for P.E. in front of you, they won't invite you to their party, or call you names. Or worse.

Kids are mean and people are homophobic. One of those things might change one day.

8. Some people might be a little too cool with it.


If you're lucky some people will think it's cool to be gay. They'll treat it like some fun cool novelty.

"OMG I would love a GBF!" Some people think that just because you're not straight you're automatically the ultimate sassy sidekick.

Some of them probably just fancy you.


9. Chances are, if you come out, people will come out to you.


If you came out and it went well it paves the way for others to do the same. You'll get people, drunk on alcohol stolen from their parents, whispering to you that they think they might be bisexual. It's kind of cool.

10. You and your partner might not have been equally out.

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It takes different people different amounts of time to be OK with coming out. You might be desperate to tell the world all about your relationship, while your partner isn't even ready to really admit what's happening to themselves.

11. It always felt rebellious.

As well as being a massive ordeal, there are moments where the taboo has it's upsides. You're actually a teenager doing gay stuff, it feels so naughty. And sometimes you just want to cut all your hair off, get your nose pierced, and embrace that.

12. Not much changes from school, it just gets easier.

You'll be coming out your whole life, but it's never going to be as good gossip as the first time. If you're lucky going on gay dates as an adult will feel more and more normal, less like you're in a bad teen movie and more just like real life. Hopefully people will care less. You'll be introduced as a lover rather than a friend. You won't feel so different and the difference you do feel you'll be proud of.