1. How to properly handle rumours, gossip, and bitching.
Office politics is for amateurs.
2. Which secrets are actually worth keeping, and which ones everyone actually has the right to know about.
Some gossip is so good that it's mean to keep it to yourself.
3. That lesbian gossip is the best gossip.
Rare and juicy, like a good steak.
4. You know how to handle any woman crying in the toilet.
You saw at least one a week at school, so it doesn't faze you much any more.
5. How to not care what you look like.
Years of only being surrounded by other girls mean no-makeup days aren't a big deal for you.
6. And how to dress super casual.
If you were allowed to wear your gym kit outside of gym, then you wore your gym kit the whole time.
7. You can be as gross as any man.
Probably more so, because period talk doesn't faze you at all.
8. That hair removal is completely optional.
Woolly tights can hide the furriest legs, and no one really cares anyway.
9. How to meet men when you only see about four a week.
You get resourceful when the only boys you see are on the bus or your friend's older brothers.
10. How to properly describe a sexual encounter.
No detail is too small, nothing is too embarrassing.
11. How to make any item of clothing look hot.
If you wanted to, you could rock that uniform like it was the latest thing from Jane Norman, but also most of the time you didn't really care.
12. That if everyone kept breaking a uniform rule, they'd probably give up enforcing it.
Nobody has time to match their hair tie to their socks.
13. How to text under a desk like a pro.
Once your Nokia 3310 was confiscated once, there was no way you were losing it again.
14. How to be seriously competitive.
And then act like you didn't care when you lost.
15. How to get in a full-on shouting match with a girl one day and forgive each other the next.
Stuff moves on fast when you're 15.
16. How to make a man wall to be proud of.
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No common room is complete without one, and the inside of every locker needs a boy shrine.
17. There is no such thing as "eating like a girl".
Unless that means buying up the whole tuck shop and eating it all before you even get to the bus stop.
18. That girls seriously rule.
You might not have learnt it at the time, but living in a mini matriarchy gives you a different perspective on the world. Mainly that boys ruin stuff.
19. And that sometimes you just need to stop what you're doing and pull up your tights.
Other people can deal with it: There is no greater pain than a low-hanging gusset.
