21 Things All Students Do During Exam Time

"It's five past, so now I have to wait 55 minutes before I can officially start working."

1. The first thing that you do when faced with revision is think long and hard about what would happen if you ran away and ignored absolutely everything.

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Who needs a degree? Neanderthals didn't go to school, and they did just fine.

2. The next thing you do is work out exactly what you need in each exam to get the grade you need.

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And then suddenly you really regret doing the bare minimum on that essay last term.

3. Obviously you need to go and buy stationery because it's impossible to revise without Post-it Notes.

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4. Before you start doing any actual work, you have to make a revision timetable.

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5. If you actually do the timetable properly, then you have to face up to the ginormous amount of work you have to do.

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If you want to avoid this for a bit longer then you'll just write down vague subjects on different days and spend four hours colour coding it with your new highlighters.

6. You then discover all the things you have to learn that you had forgotten that you learned in the first place.

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So you have more work to do than you ever thought and are therefore more fucked than you thought you were.

7. You then tell everyone else how fucked you are and hope they are also totally fucked.

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8. You spend way too long thinking about how if everyone does badly, then they'll have to lower the grade boundaries and you might be OK.

9. Then you'll see someone from your course with a massive ring binder already full of fresh notes, and realise that you're actually extra fucked.

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10. You'll make a massive coffee, partly because you realise you're going to have to stay awake for the next six weeks, and partly to procrastinate.

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11. You'll have a little cry.

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It's OK, it's a stressful time, have a lil' weep.

12. You'll seriously consider gambling with your exams and only revising half the syllabus and hoping that the right questions come up.

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This is a totally legitimate life tactic.

13. You will actually do loads and loads of work.

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And it will be so, so, so boring.

14. You will go to the pub to reward yourself for actually doing some work.

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But it won't be that fun because you'll feel slightly guilty the whole time.

15. You'll worry that absolutely everyone is doing more work than you.

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They're not. They're procrastinating just as much as you, probably more.

16. You'll have several major procrastination sessions where you'll just watch four hours of Come Dine With Me in the middle of the day.

17. And then you'll pull several all-nighters to make up for those procrastination binges.

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18. You will snack more than you have ever snacked before.

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And it's the only fun you're having.

19. You will have another little cry on the phone to your mum, or to your best friend.

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They will give some quite obvious advice like, "take some more breaks."

20. When it's all over you'll plan on partying for days.

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21. But actually all you'll want to do is sleep forever.

And it will be glorious.