21 Things All Students Do During Exam Time

    "It's five past, so now I have to wait 55 minutes before I can officially start working."

    1. The first thing that you do when faced with revision is think long and hard about what would happen if you ran away and ignored absolutely everything.

    2. The next thing you do is work out exactly what you need in each exam to get the grade you need.

    3. Obviously you need to go and buy stationery because it's impossible to revise without Post-it Notes.

    4. Before you start doing any actual work, you have to make a revision timetable.

    5. If you actually do the timetable properly, then you have to face up to the ginormous amount of work you have to do.

    6. You then discover all the things you have to learn that you had forgotten that you learned in the first place.

    7. You then tell everyone else how fucked you are and hope they are also totally fucked.

    8. You spend way too long thinking about how if everyone does badly, then they'll have to lower the grade boundaries and you might be OK.

    9. Then you'll see someone from your course with a massive ring binder already full of fresh notes, and realise that you're actually extra fucked.

    10. You'll make a massive coffee, partly because you realise you're going to have to stay awake for the next six weeks, and partly to procrastinate.

    11. You'll have a little cry.

    12. You'll seriously consider gambling with your exams and only revising half the syllabus and hoping that the right questions come up.

    13. You will actually do loads and loads of work.

    14. You will go to the pub to reward yourself for actually doing some work.

    15. You'll worry that absolutely everyone is doing more work than you.

    16. You'll have several major procrastination sessions where you'll just watch four hours of Come Dine With Me in the middle of the day.

    17. And then you'll pull several all-nighters to make up for those procrastination binges.

    18. You will snack more than you have ever snacked before.

    19. You will have another little cry on the phone to your mum, or to your best friend.

    20. When it's all over you'll plan on partying for days.

    21. But actually all you'll want to do is sleep forever.

    And it will be glorious.