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21 Signs You're A Grandma Trapped In A Twentysomething's Body

Cheers to eating more and moving less.

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1. Whenever you go clubbing it always strikes you as very loud.

Warner Brothers

How on earth is the bartender meant to hear your drink order?

2. You find it very difficult to stay out past 1am.

FOX

"I'm just going to the toilet." And then straight home to my bed.

3. And quite often you don't go out at all.

Newline Cinema

You might have a good time if you go out, but you ~know~ you'll have a good time if you stay in.

4. You've used up every excuse for why you can't go out.

Bravo

"Food poisoning for the third time this month — I know, very unlucky."

5. You find it nearly impossible to stay out late on Friday and Saturday night.

Casual Friday Productions

You need recovery time after having fun.

6. If you have to go out, you'd rather go to a quiet pub than a club where you have to dance.

Warner Brothers

Sitting down > standing up.

7. If you're gonna drink, you want it to be actually nice alcohol, and you want to have it with snacks.

FOX

Booze tastes better with food, and food tastes better with booze. They are perfect for each other.

8. Certain kinds of nights out appeal to you, though.

instagram.com

And it's all over by 10pm!

9. You're not sure you ~get~ Facebook entirely. You're never quite sure who can see what.

And you definitely don't get Twitter.
Misuma / Getty Images

And you definitely don't get Twitter.

10. You always regret updating apps.

giphy.com

Change = bad.

11. Most months you spend more money on subscriptions than vodka.

Walt Disney

12. You get quite excited about baking.

E4

And you're more keen to eat the baked goods than to Instagram them.

13. You watch a lot of TV shows about cooking or moving house.

Channel 4

So calming.

14. Your idea of a wild night is starting a film past 9pm.

Marvel

Or drinking caffeine past 6pm!

15. Your favourite thing to spend money on is definitely food.

instagram.com

Forget being drunk or fashionable, it's all about being full.

16. Or maybe kitchen gadgets.

instagram.com

And you're certainly not averse to a clever cleaning product.

17. Tinder kind of terrifies you.

Dreamworks

All those strangers, all those emojis, it's just not for you.

18. In fact, everything about dating seems like the opposite of a good time.

The CW

Meeting strangers, to see if you want to have sex with them, without actually talking about it. Too much awkward.

19. People who don't dress appropriately for the weather distress you.

New Line Cinema

"It may look warm, but it's actually just bright with a chilly breeze!"

20. You are a big fan of a practical shoe.

ABC

No pain = gain.

21. Your bed is definitely your best friend.

Cartoon Network

You two spend an awful lot of time together.