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9 Differences Between Being A Lesbian And Being A Gay Man

Are dildos the only thing we have in common?

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1. Going out:

Lesbian nights are hard to find and are usually in a small basement.

If your local lesbian bar hasn't closed down then count yourself lucky. And any general gay nights or bars will be 90% men.
FOX

If your local lesbian bar hasn't closed down then count yourself lucky. And any general gay nights or bars will be 90% men.

There are three types of gay nights out: the “let’s vogue to Madonna and Cher” night out, the “did you know there’s a dark room here?” night out, and the “no, lady, I will not be your gay best friend” night out.

MTV

2. Dating:

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Finding a lesbian who you fancy, you haven't already slept with, and your ex hasn't slept with is near impossible.

Even if you think you have found a rare unconnected lesbian, you will have slept with her ex’s best friend’s ex.
skyfiregirl.tumblr.com

Even if you think you have found a rare unconnected lesbian, you will have slept with her ex’s best friend’s ex.

There are six degrees of separation when dating as a gay man.

NBC

Basically if you find someone who hasn't shagged one of your friends, lock him the fuck down.

3. Dating apps:

The dating app world is pretty bleak for lesbians. Tinder is full of men asking for threesomes, and HER is (you've guessed it) full of your exes.

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Grindr is the darkest of rabbit holes where gay men forget every ounce of etiquette and home training.

I'll have a quick look on Grindr, see if anyone has messaged me...💀

4. PDA:

If two lesbians kiss in public there will be a straight man who will assume you’re putting on a show just for him.

HBO

The first time a gay couple kiss in public, there's usually a clash of teeth and heads because they want to get it over with so nobody else sees.

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5. Stereotypes:

The first thing your mum probably said to you when you came out was “Please don’t cut your hair.”

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And if you had already cut your hair then she probably already thought you were gay.

Of course every gay man loves Madonna, glitter, and every musical ever made. Sports? Ew.

6. Tribes:

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There are two types of lesbian: cat lesbians and dog lesbians.

NBC

Bears, otters, cubs: Gays have officially ruined the animal kingdom for everybody.

ABC

7. Relationships:

The U-haul stereotype is sadly true: Most lesbians really aren't scared of commitment.

Bria and Chrissy / Via purple-rainbows.tumblr.com

A single lesbian is a rare sight, and if you happen to be one you’ll be the seventh wheel at every dinner party.

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Gay relationships tend to be splashed all over social media under hashtags that include "the boy".

You can tell when a couple have broken up because they suddenly stop posting about each other every day. Successful relationships are usually kept separate from social media.

8. Culture:

The L Word is like the holy testament of being a lesbian.

HBO

Our life is full of references to it, even though it ended like 10 years ago, and it wasn't even that good, but it's all we've got.

Brokeback Mountain was as good as it got for gay men, and then the supreme queen herself, RU FUCKING PAUL came along and gay men have been blessed ever since.

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9. Sex:

What lesbians do in bed is apparently the last great mystery of the modern world.

Flo Perry / BuzzFeed / Via buzzfeed.com

Whatever we do, it's nothing like lesbian porn.

Gay men invented anal sex. Everybody else just jumped on the bandwagon.

HBO

You can thank us later.