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22 Tweets About Easter That Are Just Plain Egg-Cellent

It's reincarn-great.

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1.

Jesus: Table for 26 please. Maitre'd: There's only 13 of you. Jesus: But we're all going to sit on the same side.

2.

Judas: still on for Friday? Jesus: Friday? Judas: yeah, the last supper Jesus: the what? Judas: supper. Normal supper with the fellas

3.

Judas: The one I kiss is Jesus Christ. Soldier: You can just point to him. Judas: (putting on lip-balm) I don't tell you how to do your job.

4.

Im grateful for jesus sacrificing himself so i could have 4 days off. Big up urself Mesiah

5.

Easter tip: Tell your kids you hid an egg with $50 in it in the backyard but you don't remember where. Enjoy a quiet day indoors.

6.

Nephew just whispered something into a Cadbury Easter Bunny's ears then broke off its head. I'm sleeping with the lights on.

7.

Don't put all my eggs in one basket? Nice try, basket industry, I'm onto your marketing scam... #EasterBaskets

8.

If Jesus was a cat we'd have nine Easters.

9.

The Easter Bunny doesn't always drink, but when he does I bet it's hopscotch.

10.

Just been banned from my church's Easter service. Apparently the first words Jesus spoke after emerging from his tomb weren't "Ta-Daa!"

11.

can't believe Jesus was born on Christmas and died on Easter, what are the odds? still, he accomplished a lot for a four month year old.

12.

This year, teach your kids the true meaning of Easter by trapping them in a stone tomb for three days.

13.

[Last Supper] Jesus:"We need 13 chairs please" Judas:"But chairs don't fall into common usage until the 16th century AD" Jesus:"AD?"

14.

[the last supper] Waiter: ok, your bill comes to 30 pieces of silver Judas: I got this

15.

Jesus: One among you will betray me. John: No way dude. Matthew: No way dude. Judas: *thumbing through designer cross catalogue* Plausible.

16.

[Jesus at Last Supper] *breaks bread* This is my body *pours wine* This is my blood *opens jar of mayo* Judas: I'm gonna stop u right there

17.

[Last supper] Jesus: Same time next week guys? *they all nod* Judas: I'll book a table for 12 Jesus: you mean 13 Judas: yeah..13, I meant 13

18.

I keep waiting for my Cadbury Creme Eggs to hatch into Cadbury Creme Chickens, but no luck so far. And sitting on them certainly didn't help

19.

No sweetie, you can't have your giant chocolate bunny for breakfast, that's not healthy and also mommy ate it for dinner last night.

20.

If your kid eats the chocolate bunny's feet first, "so it can't get away," that's your future serial killer right there

21.

[in heaven after crucifixion] jesus: "they were horrible dad, im pleased im not going back there" god: [rubbing his neck] "see the thing is"

22.

Crucifixion art is so depressing. Every time I look at Jesus, I can’t help thinking...I’ll never have abs like that.

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