1. Ralph Klein, Premier of Alberta, Canada
Pie-thrower: The Banana-Cream Three
2. Calvin Klein, Fashion Designer
Notes: Technically ‘friendly fire,’ as the assailants were aiming for Karl Lagerfeld, as Klein’s products are fur-free.
3. Bill Gates, Microsoft Founder and Chairman
Pie-thrower: Noël Godin
Notes: After the attack, Godin reportedly only commented, ‘My work is done here.’
4. King Carl XVI Gustaf, Swedish Monarch
Pie-thrower: A sixteen-year-old Swedish boy
Notes: The teenager was arrested on charges of treason immediately after being apprehended.
5. Abraham Beame, Mayor of New York City
Pie-thrower: Aron Kay
6. Fred Phelps, Conservative Religious Activist
Pie-thrower: Biotic Baking Brigade [Des Moines chapter]
Notes: BBB’s statement was, ‘With our heads held high and our baked goods in hand, we are the cream topping on the pie tin of gay liberation and we unite under the motto, There will be no peace, as long as there is pie and there will be pie as long as there are fascists. Fascist gay-bashers everywhere be warned: the pies are in the oven.’
7. James Allen Rhodes, Governor of Ohio
Pie-thrower: A demonstrator protesting against the construction of a new gym building at Kent State University
8. Alex Rodriguez, Third Baseman for the New York Yankees
Pie-thrower: A.J. Burnett
9. Jeffrey Skilling, Enron CEO
Pie-thrower: Biotic Baking Brigade [Agent Chocolate Supreme]
Notes: Agent Chocolate Supreme’s statement was, ‘Jeffrey Skilling and associates were carrying a lot of Karmic debt, and the choclate cream pie JuJu cut through the disguise. … Since Mr. Skilling, who made $132 million this year, creamed usI felt obligated to cream him.’
10. Thomas Friedman, New York Times Columnist
Pie-thrower: Unnamed female Brown student, associate escaped
- The Clinton campaign is trying to stop television stations from running a pro-Trump ad featuring Michelle Obama.
- A group of UK Uber drivers have won the right to minimum wage and holiday pay in a landmark tribunal ruling 🚘
- A federal jury cleared the leaders of an Oregon standoff. The militia group took over a wildlife refuge last January.
- RIP — Vine says it's discontinuing its mobile app, effectively ending the 6-second video service 💀
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