5 Reasons Why Justin Bieber Needs Adults

I’m about to stage an intervention.

Justin Bieber has been doing somethings lately that have been getting the good people of the world a little worried about him. At the age of 19, the Biebs should be perfectly capable of handling himself— but when you’re a international pop star the task could be a little hard.

Someone needs to stand up to the Biebs and his luscious locks of gold and tell him “no” (or maybe use a spray bottle) because no one wants to see him end up another tragic child star—I’m looking at you Amanda Bynes, you had so much promise.

Here are 5 things someone should have told Justin “no” for:

1. Where Are You Now…Monkey?

Justin Bieber bought himself a monkey named Mally about three weeks ago and from what you could tell it seemed the pair would be “bros 4 lyfe”—well that wasn’t the case.

See, Mally the Monkey was actually quarantined in Germany for flying with the Biebs without papers—resulting in a 10k fine for the Biebs.

I’m guessing the Biebs decided Mally was more trouble then he was worth because while German officials have been waiting for Bieber to come pick up his monkey the Biebs decided to just give it away instead.

Poor monkey, its always the children who suffer the most isn’t it. I guess to the Biebs it was “no monkey, no mo’ problems”.

Bye Bye Mally the Monkey.

You should have been better taken care of, considering you were quarantined in Germany for about a week while the Biebs continued to tour Europe. What made having a monkey and international tour sound like a good idea?

2. Beauty and the “I’ll Beat the F*ck Out of You”

Justin Bieber lost it with the paparazzi in London earlier this year after one photog told him to “F*ck off back to America” (actually he’s from Canada but I digress). While the Biebs is usually calm and collected with the paparazzi, he full out snapped.

Here’s the video.

Biebs, I know you were probably at your breaking point but you’re a celebrity this is going to happen all the time, you need to count to 10 or eat some chocolate, watch porn I don’t know, something that’s not this.

You’re getting into some Britney Spears 2007 territory and I’m not ready to see that yet.

Time to go back in the car seat.

Before it gets to this.

Justin Bieber was caught smoking weed when TMZ obtained these photos from an undisclosed source after New Years.

The issue isn’t him smoking weed, the issue is who let the person take the picture?

Why was there no one there to say, “Yo Justin, that chick over there looks mad shady with her camera phone out and stuff. I think I see a TMZ badge among the smoke, I don’t know bro— MAYBE YOU SHOULD STOP.”

The fact that someone was there to take a picture and then disclose it means they shouldn’t have been at that party, that’s it.


Justin Bieber’s tour bus was raided after Swedish police smelled pot wafting through the air April 24, 2013. Several narcotics were found on the bus, along with pot. No one was charged due to the bus being empty.

Biebs, why was there narcotics on your bus? No one wants to see you become another Lindsay Lohan. Please get it together, before I see pictures of you spread out in the passenger seat blacked out.

Child Stars and drugs don’t mix.

4. Overboard…With Shirtless Selfies

This is Bieber after he collapsed on stage in London.

Not creepy that he instagrammed this, and his music demographic is like 12.9 to 15 years old.

Can someone begin to monitor his Instagram, because while I love me a good Justin Bieber shirtless selfie it gets a little much when it compromises 89% of your photos.

I vote Olivia Wilde to monitor Justin Bieber’s posts.

5. As Long As You Love Money

Being a No.1 pop star probably has its perks, one being Justin has more money than he knows what to do with.

Well, he thinks he knows what to do with it and that’s have a car for each day of the week.

it says “swag car”…

maybe I should discuss his unhealthy obsession with matte black

Basically Bieber, you’re young and you have a lot of money but you don’t need to have 7 different cars just because you can have 7 different cars.

Whose managing how you spend your money? Because you obviously aren’t doing it yourself.

While you do give a lot of money to charity (which is great) you do tend to overindulge just as much.

I mean you got a tattoo of your ex-girlfriend, Selena Gomez—a bad one at that.

and you spent money on an ugly Chanel ski mask when I’m pretty sure you’re not going skiing anytime soon.

Basically Bieber, nobody wants to see you succumb to the curse of being a child star. So please, for the sake of everyone get some adults in your life because if you don’t this is shaping up to be the most interesting downward spiral I’ve ever seen.

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