The answers were hilarious and quite revealing of how much the teachers observe and know:
1. "If you’re nice to me and aren’t disruptive, I’ll always work the numbers in your favor when it comes time to post grades."
2. "That my students are the reason why I am second-guessing having my own kids."
3. "Your parents are literally the worst part of my job."
4. "Your sense of entitlement is most likely acquired from your upbringing, so parent-teacher conferences to discuss your grades aren’t going to do shit when the parents just blame us, despite you putting in little to zero effort."
5. "Yes, I do have favorite students. No, I won't tell you who they are because that would discourage you, but yes, they're probably who you imagine them to be."
6. "Yes, I put you in a group with the kid you have a crush on intentionally. I'm stuck here with you 180 days a year; I want to see some drama."
7. "I encourage my worst kids as much or more than my favorites because I don’t want them back in my class next year."
8. "I think what you learn in the other classes is mostly useless rubbish; the things you're supposed to do to learn it are boring and ineffective, and the way our schools are organised is archaic and not fit for humans, much less kids."
9. "If you’re jacking off in class, we can tell."
10. "One day you're going to come across people who are not being paid to tolerate you, and all of a sudden life is going to become considerably more difficult."
11. "You can't bullshit a bullshitter. I can tell 95% of what you're saying is a lie, so stop."
12. "I’m not saying I like fights in my classroom. I’m just saying I might have taken a little longer to react when the jerk student/bully was finally getting what was long overdue."
13. "You are right. The administration is completely out of touch when it comes to technology. I also work better while listening to music on my phone."
14. "I remember several days that I felt lazy and wanted to give the class the day off. I never did because I knew the teacher's pet would rat me out. Sometimes even the teachers don't like the teacher's pet."
15. "I’d let you get away with so much more if you were actually a decent person who treated others with kindness and respect. Assholes rarely get the benefit of doubt or indifference."
16. "Trying hard is necessary but not sufficient for most accomplishments. Intelligence is necessary but not sufficient for most accomplishments. I can’t tell the sweet, hardworking but unintelligent kid he won’t be a doctor. I can’t tell the smart but lazy asshole he won’t be a doctor. Both end up in my remedial class and blame being in remedial class on mean teachers labelling them."
17. "Yelling 'fuck!' in the hallways doesn’t make you a badass. Teachers are yelling fuck in their heads all day long."
18. "Yes, I sat you next to her because I can tell you have a crush on her. I noticed you try harder on your work when she is around, and to be honest...you two would make a cute couple."
19. "I teach middle school in Taiwan. I want to tell them this: I'm not an idiot. When you are ridiculing me in Chinese, I've picked up phrases and know which ones you're using. Don't act surprised when I give you detention for calling me bendan (dumbass) or baichi (idiot). I know what you're saying. Ugh! Bendan!"
20. "You can be unsuccessful at school but successful in life. I pretend that it is important for you to do well in my subject, but in reality you'll most probably find your niche in life and be reasonably content or hopefully extremely happy."
"You might hate Math, English, Science, but turn out to be the most amazing parent, artist, carpenter, or even a mathematician, playwright, or researcher. You might get the lowest scores in class and end up being the most successful of your peers. I feign annoyance, anger, disappointment. I reluctantly phone your parents, give you detentions, or write up critical reports. I have to; it's my job. If you do well in my subject, then that's great, but if you don't, then just relax. We can't all be good at everything." —u/this_is_life_now
21. "I wish I could let my students know how dumb they look sometimes. And how they need to relax and stop taking themselves so seriously."
22. "The weed smell doesn't magically disappear between the parking lot and my classroom."
23. "If your parents email a teacher and argue with them, the whole staff knows (at least at my school)."
24. "When you think you are being genius by getting me to talk about random things at the beginning of class instead of 'teaching,' I'm really allowing it to happen because I don't have enough planned to cover a full class."
25. "We have much better hearing than you assume. We just choose our battles as it pertains to inappropriate comments. And sometimes I pretend not to see that thing you did just because I, too, found it humorous, and speaking to you about it would only result in me cracking up."
26. "You don’t need anything I teach you to be successful in life. Math is about learning to think, not graphing functions and solving equations."
27. "I can definitely hear the horrible things you are saying. Yes, I see that you are on the other side of the room. I may be 'old' to you, but I am certainly not deaf."
28. "If I know your name by the third day of a new school year, that means you're probably an asshole."
29. "I know shit sucks at home. I see it every day when you come into my class. I see the tears you're hiding, the pain behind that class-clown smile, the emotional fragility behind your tough-guy persona."
"I know exactly what it's like to come from a broken home. I wish I could do something, but until you come to me, all I can do is try and let you know, with a look, a smile, a subtle turn of phrase, that I'm always there for you when you need an ear, or a shoulder." —u/Ainyan
30. "Please stop juuling in the classrooms; that’s what the bathrooms are for."
31. "It's just as weird for me as it is for you when we bump into each other in public."
32. "You're unique; you're not special. Set your goals high, but understand that if you change your goals to needs, you will have a lifetime of disappointment."
33. "I don't care that you came to class stoned. Just stop interrupting class, and for god's sake, don't touch any power tools while you're stoned."
34. "I knew you were cheating so I gave you a test with the answers in a different order for the rest of the semester. You clearly weren't very bright to figure it out, and yes, I am that spiteful. It was easier than reporting the cheating."
35. "I would honestly tell my little kindergartners that life is tough, I love you, and many of you can't count on your parents at all. You're poor and have to work harder. I need you to understand how important your education is for having a better life."
"But I'm a male teacher in early childhood. Distance is very important, and can't afford to have a parent go all mama bear on me. So, I just do my best to make them feel valued in my class." —u/Shivarez
36. "The odds of you using any specific piece of knowledge you learn in high school is slim. The odds of you using some piece of knowledge from high school is near absolute, and you have no idea what it's going to be or when it will happen, so you may as well try at all of it. The biggest thing you're going to learn is how to learn."
37. "You’re not going to be YouTube famous — sit the fuck down and listen."
38. "We can smell the weed. Seriously, at least wait until after school."
39. "Stop trying so hard to make Jamie like you and be your friend because even though you and Jamie have been friends since Pre-K, people growing apart is normal, and Jamie is a manipulative minge muffin."
40. "Stop wearing your furry tail. Everyone is uncomfortable."
41. "A lot of us probably drink, smoke, sleep around, etc. more than you do, and hearing you talking about it and trying to hide it as if it's something we wouldn't know about is richly ironic."
42. "If you’re going to eat in class, stop staring at me while you’re doing it! You’re ratting yourself out."
43. "Just because I like you as a person doesn’t mean that I won’t fail you. Being smart isn’t a justification for being lazy, and I can’t pass someone that never hands in work. I moved you away from your friends because they were taking you down with them."
44. "One of the most valuable lessons I can teach you is to fake looking busy."
"If we're supposed to be working on an assignment or reading or whatever, and you see me coming your way... At the least have a piece of paper on your desk and a pen in your hand and some shit on your paper, and then I won't bother you. If you have nothing going on and can't even be bothered to make it look like you're trying, I'm heading your way." —u/SmilingSarcastic1221