Mid-Flight Secrets That Only Flight Attendants And Pilots Are Privy To
There's a lot happening in the cockpit. And it's not flying.
Redditor u/YamesfrankO asked the question, "Flight attendants and pilots of Reddit, what are some things that happen mid flight that only the crew are aware of?" Pilots and cabin crew provided some shocking, funny, and scary answers.
Here's some of the best:
1. "As an air traffic controller we are constantly swearing and yelling at pilots when we’re not on the frequency, and then when we key up we use our nice guy voices."
2. "Sometimes we'll be flying faster to get there earlier if a crew member has a commute to catch home."
3. "Flight attendant here. Crop dusting. Basically farting whilst we walk down the aisle due to the bloating. If you fly frequently, there's a high chance an FA has farted right by your head as they walked down the aisle."
4. "There is a radio frequency we all are required to monitor. It's called Guard. It’s for emergency use and is designed for maydays, and for Air Traffic Control to reach aircraft that may have lost radio contact, or to relay messages from aircraft to other aircraft, etc. Every day this frequency is abused."
"You will hear hundreds of professional aviators meowing, yelling obscenities at each other, and making fun of one airline or another. Often times what will start it is some poor guy accidentally transmitting his PA announcement to passengers on the guard frequency, followed by the very “mature” outbreaks for about 5–10 minutes." —u/Gravity88x
5. "One split second of instinct combined with piloting skill decides if you land on the runway or on the side of it. Most of the runways are 45 meters wide, and on a gusty summer afternoons or during thunderstorms I take God's name more than the pope himself."
6. "Pilot here. We only get paid when the doors are closed and the push back has commenced. If we’re delayed or sitting with the door open, we’re just as annoyed as you are."
"At altitude we’re constantly in contact with air traffic control and change to different 'center frequencies' (or control for other than US locations). We’re also doing fuel checks to make sure the fuel burn isn’t abnormal, dodging weather, and probably bitching about scheduling." —u/cornbreadcasserole
7. "One of my all-time favorites is the captain accidentally broadcasting his passenger briefing (welcome aboard, weather in Chicago, and so on) on frequency instead of the aircraft PA system, blocking up ground, ramp, tower, etc. for a solid 15 seconds. You automatically become the laughing stock of the airport."
8. "I was learning to be cabin crew at college, and in the event that someone dies on board, the CC (Cabin Crew) make it less obvious that they have passed. Put glasses on them, maybe a hat. Essentially dress them up as subtle as possible to not alert and/or panic the other passengers."
9. "That the captain had a heart attack and passed away mid-flight, and he's the reason we have to have an unscheduled stop, not to refuel."
10. "Pilots are on their phones or reading the newspaper all the time."
11. "The scariest moment of my day is when the FA opens the internal bag door (the closet we all throw our overnight bags in) without calling us in the flight deck first. That ding and master caution gets me every time."
12. "Pilot here. We will not only transport dead bodies, but also live transplants, like hearts and lungs. I particularly like the live transplants because we get to cut to the front of the line for takeoff, and we get all the shortcuts to our destination."
"Also, don't take off your shoes to go to the bathroom. People pee on the floor all the time." —u/purcerh