Quiz

Community Contributor

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Are you Wine Mom, Beer Dad, or another of these colorful, intoxicated relatives?

Which Intoxicated Family Member At The Holiday Function Are You?

Which Intoxicated Relative Are You Over The Holidays?

It's Thanksgiving! What's your favorite thing about the holidays?

What's your most-used app?

What's your favorite color?

What's your favorite holiday food?

In one word, how are you feeling?

What's your favorite sport?

What or who do you hate?

If you were an animal, what would you be?

What's your favorite holiday?

Finally, pick something for dessert:

You don't mind a nice zin after dropping little Timmy off at soccer practice or a glass of cab with dinner! Just found out that your high school boyfriend is getting married? Pick up a bottle of rosé from Whole Foods, drink the whole thing, and post memes about it on Facebook! At family gatherings, you can always be found drinking straight from the bottle as your broccoli cheese casserole inevitably burns.

Wine Mom

You take pride in being the loudest, most inebriated person at every family gathering. You have no interest in kids of your own, but you don't mind providing critical (and sometimes explicit) life advice to your younger relatives because, after all, "they'll hear about it from Twitter sooner or later". Wait a minute — did someone say shots? No? Well, let's do one anyway.

Vodka Aunt

All you want is to kick back with a brewski and watch the big game in peace. At family gatherings, you're usually found far away from the action, grilling up burgers on the back porch, and sipping on a cold one. If the kids need something, you're on vacation, and they can go ask their mother — damn it!

Beer Dad

You need three fingers of whatever you've got up in the cabinet, neat, because your nephews are yelling again. You always show up with your own bottle, and you always finish it before the holiday is over. At family gatherings, you're usually asleep in an armchair in front of the TV or stumbling around, muttering about "kids these days, with their Nintendos and their democratic socialism".

Whiskey Uncle

According to Grandma, you're the bad seed of the family. You've learned a lot at college, including the wonders of marijuana and how wrong your family's political opinions are. At family gatherings, you're either arguing about the climate crisis or you're absent altogether, trying to bum a hit off of those teenagers in the park down the street.

Weed Cousin

How can nicotine be bad for you if it tastes like tutti frutti? You can stop at any time, but you need to finish this pack of pods first. At family gatherings, you're probably sitting at the kitchen table, Snapchatting girls who don't like you, and trying to discreetly hit your Juul without Wine Mom seeing.

Juul Brother

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Which Intoxicated Family Member At The Holiday Function Are You?

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