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Do you have the dashing good looks of Kevin? Or the business prowess of Eduardo? Or are you a milf looking for a quick romp through Pike? Take this quiz to find out!

Answer These Questions And We'll Tell You Which Member Of Floor One You Are

Who would you low key (high key) smash from floor one?

How often are you in the lounge?

How much weed do you blaze?

What do you say when someone tells you they love you?

Ben comes up to you and starts talking. How do you react

What's your most prized possession

Adam moves out of the lounge, what's the first thing you do?

Which floor 1 shower do you use?

If you were a flavor of ice cream, what flavor would you be?

What's your drug of choice

Do you ship Bagatha?

On a scale from Eduardo-Katelynn how horny are you rn?

Did you know...

Favorite sex position?

You're at a banger in the lounge, what's your drink of choice?

What's your true major?

If you could have a holiday what would it be?

You're at a frat party- what you doing right now?

Describe your dorm room

You win a million big bucks in the lottery. What do you do?

This saucy CS Major can hack anyone's heart AND decrypt their pants (if you know what we mean). Just like Mr. Yip, you're suave af. FUN FACT: Baevery's first kiss was with Ashton Kutcher in Moffitt Library.

"Just the Tip" Yip

Parlez-vous français? Just like this crispy baguette, everyone wants a piece of you. You're single, bilingual, and READY. TO. MINGLE. While not reminding literally every person around you about the suffering your ancestors endured, you can be found failing to trap the asses of not one!! but TWO!! EECS boys and poor Rory

Fellatio Flores

IT'S LIIIIIIT!!! and so are you. You work hard, play hard (Romans 16:45). MCB by day, SAE by night, ayyyeeee. Spot this girl wearing wedges, studying at the SLC, and drinking mad iced coffee from GBC. FUN FACT: Laura has never been to Colombia.

Laura the Explora

This PV MILF is the ultimate athleisure enthusiast, spending her weekends investing, sailing, looking up sex positions on urban dictionary, and TRAPPING THAT ASS. FUN FACT: D'keesha would be TOTALLY down for a devil's three way with two of your grimiest local fuck bois.

D'keesha

You got that fresh lemur look with a hint of \*cough\* fake \*cough\* ANGST. Chonclas are the usual shoe of choice. You know how to read and write, which is a plus. FUN FACT: when Arjun alleges that he's working at the Daily Cal, he's actually having some steamy meetings with his boyfriend, Kevin.

Large and in Charjun

Are you a chef? Because you deliver some quality roasts. Recent victims may or may not include Arjun, Pablo, and Hannah. You're artsy as ALL HELL and not afraid to tell them hoes what's what. FUN FACT: Jessica has a son named Wolfgang.

Jessica (aka Michelle)

Like this former star basketball player, you're not afraid to go get what you want (or whom you want). You tell it like it is, you're headstrong, and you'd be amazed what you can do with a bucket.

Kinky Katelynn

You're the kid I want to see at a Radiohead concert; you know the music, you've got the shirt, but you're not going to be a DIK about it, ya feel? Anyways, you busy as hell, but still make time to have fuck-- I MEAN- fun ;) Hey, bud, how are you? \*shrugs\* "Meh" fun fact: favorite food is whiPPed cream (ka-chow)

Wrath of Con

What did you say, Ben? I didn't hear you -- said no one ever. When you're not mansplaining your libertarian views or becoming a part of that mile-high club, you can be heard cackling like a dying hyena in the lounge at 1 am. You left your heart in Edinburgh (and UCLA), but seek to fill the void with various floormates, fellow Hamilton fanatics, and Kappas. You love the numbers involved in finance, but I've got a number for you: New York 10 ;)

HamilBen

"Crazy Eyes" from Orange is the New Black is your spirit animal. You fuel your late night (early morning, afternoon, honestly whenever Avery's not there) trysts with sunflower seeds, cheese, and Arjun. Let's be real, you say your face is small, but you be serving some looks (werq it gurl). Whether sporting your yellow towel, blue glasses, or another one of Arjun's shirts, you can always be seen working the lounge like a runway.

ANAL

Where did you come from, where did you go? You watch Ben while he sleeps, but he doesn't know ;) Who knows what's happening? U just go with the flow. At the end of the day, u the boy next do-do.

DODO TRAINS OR SOMEthing

While not being thirsted after by at least 2 female floormates, you can be heard serenading the fortunate passerby with some sweet Jason Mraz slow songs in the shower. Your semi-arid lips have a very particular set of skills. Word on the street has it that one of those skills is sucking tig ol' bitties ;)))))) ;P

Aid In BANG

UGH doesn't that kid Zeeshan make you want to just drink some bleach? BUT YOU CAN'T!! PULL. YOURSELVES. TOGETHER. FRIENDS. Any layperson can detect your presence from the click of your boots and the cloud of eau de toilette hovering over you like Zeeshan in Urdu class ;)))

Thotia

Congratulations! You're one of two (maybe three) floormates that Danny doesn't regard as a brick wall! Like a sweet slice of summer pizza, you brighten everybody's day with your soothing, if nonchalant lounge presence and flip flops. You made your place in a male-dominated field, but you've also made your place in a FORMER FLOORMATE'S HEART (oh shiiiiiit) by doing his scheme project for him.

PATRASHA LLC

"Is it lit?" While not talking through his nose, or to his mom, or to other NJB's at Hillel (hollaaaaa for that free challah, amirite ladies??!?!!), this striking bachelor can be found having a wet dream about "driving his car 80 in a 25 zone" on Pablo's floor. Gone from the lounge, but never forgotten -- especially by a certain Britt-nay.

Dank Dumper

Papa Guac, 
you say you're studying architecture, or something, but nobody's even sure you can read, as someone has yet to catch you in the act of studying. Although you rarely make an appearance on floor 1 wearing those saucy khaki shorts, you can be frequently peep'd on Snapchat, making all of us, including your girlfriend, uncomfortable -- pre- or post-coitus.

Pabuardoooo

While not getting potentially-regrettable trip-inspired tattoos on your arm (we criticize because we care), you can be found running your BUDding business (l o l get it? like weed). Though you're "elevated" most of the time, you elevate your floormates with your easy-going personality, lack of secret santa gifts, and rosy cheeks. Stay high, my dude!

A-RICK

WADDUP WADDUP, GURL, what that Hall Ass do?? Just like your nickname, you're STRAIGHT UP a pretty cool guy \*\*cough\*\* erection \*\*cough\*\* and can be pretty fun on a lonely night. You MUST be one personable pre-Haas major, considering your ability to deal with a snake roommate every day (and every night, we don't know what goes on in that room).

DYLDO

Yo, back in Kuwait...
When not throwing peace signs, drinking boba, or wearing large headphones over even larger mop of hair, you can be spotted hanging out with your main squeeze, Stabby (...Riley who??) This phi delt will phi-MELT your heart!

BLAIZAL

While not locked out of your room or dicking the halls with boughs of Holly, you can be seen fondling some piano keys and imagining your long-distance gf. Your name may sound like a middle-aged Russian man, but you can dance like a young agile Russian boy forced to train at 4 in the morning. The only start-up you need is to start-up some funky shenanigans w all of us! Go beers! Go bor(i)s!

CLIBORIS

While not fondling Ben's titties, pretending you need help to hablor espany'all (??), or trying to socialize with us by threatening to write us up, you can be found breaking windows with your toe, after drinking an entire bottle of vodka pretending that you don't have the alcohol tolerance of a 5'1 man. Although you probably should've been fired by now, I guess the fact that you haven't convinced any residents to have sex with you suggests that you're doing something right.

ANI-ruuuuude (ben's lover)

Oh, jeez, I'm so sorry! Afraid of commitment and housing contracts, this hunk of half-asian man meat can always be found paying subscribers to complete his pledging process. Stay woke!

Lost in the Sauce

While not snorting at the jokes of an NJB or tearing her pants from a dank booty drop, this shikza from SoCal can be found side-eyeing your local Daniel. Wall twerking is a forte, but don't let her near Noah's on Shabbat.

Kaety Lynn Spears

Whether you're releasing women from your EECS dungeon, or eliminating the CS competition by providing them alcohol in the lounge, this league playing, basketball fanatic will always remain a mystery. One that we don't want to solve.

Danny Liang

At first her resting bitch face and black boot might scare you off, but once you take a couple shots of Bailey or have a nice chat with Emily, Elise is definitely the most appealing one to have around. Sadly, she got scared off by Ben's direct comments about her dropping out in front of her parents. We miss you and your rockin' BootY.

BOOT GIRL

While he's usually found cleaning up after his girlfriend's hairballs or sexiled by the Romeo and Juliet of floor 1, You can occasionally be seen walking barefoot in the bathroom and spitting sunflower seed in Arjun's mouth. We might say this golden-bearded hotty is pretty ripped, but I guess that's what happens when you're a vegan who only eats pussy.

KEverything

Two elegant intellectuals with a double major in sabermetrics and disappointing sex, these two young men prove that two heads aren't always better than one. Find them in your local gun store trying to play baseball with a rifle.

JACK AND TOM

Normally pedophiles end up in prison, but unit 3rd world is pretty close. Whether swallowing orange fish or sexiling his roommates, this Aqua Delt will definitely make you wet.

Wu Feng Clan

If a frail white boy follows you around, you know you're Ravespleen. This ABG might not know her major, but she knows that you need to wait 8 weeks before you roll again. Fuck it. Just pop pills every night.

Ravespleen the Drunk Meme

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Answer These Questions And We'll Tell You Which Member Of Floor One You Are

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