2.
Ask obvious questions.
3.
Not understand the difference between a salsa and a sauce.
4.
Bring your own fucking food to a place that serves it.
5.
Leave a shitty tip IN CHANGE.
6.
Order anything 15 minutes before closing.
8.
Order a main entree as a "side."
9.
Drink the salsa through a straw.
10.
Forgo tipping all together.
11.
EVEN IF YOU'RE NICE, IT'S STILL. NOT. OK.
12.
Air your dirty laundry.
13.
Not grasp pronunciation.
14.
Be a douche about happy hour.
15.
Be SUPER inappropriate.
16.
Get into a physical altercation.
17.
Ask for a different coffee after hearing all the options.
18.
Be super weird about your ordering preferences.
19.
Make life hard for your busser.
20.
Feel insulted when they don't have what you want.
21.
And finally, make the same joke literally every single person in the world has already made.