1. OK, I'm only going to browse around for fifteen minutes.
2. I will NOT spend half a day in here like I did last weekend.
3. I've got my 15% off coupon LIKE. A. BOSS.
4. Where do I even begin??
5. Omg, journals!!
6. Why do I already own five but feel like I need another one?
7. BECAUSE THEY'RE SO PRETTY.
8. And THIS one comes in a teal color.
9. I can be organized enough to own six journals, right?
10. I'll think about it.
11. Ooooh cookbooks!
12. These food photographers really have a great life.
13. I wonder if they can eat it after they get the pic.
14. All these recipes look delicious.
15. Wait. What am I doing?
16. I don't even cook.
17. But it would look cute in my kitchen.
18. And MAYBE I'd try cooking a recipe.
19. Who am I kidding? I know myself too well.
20. Home decor books!!!
21. Man, all these homes look GORGEOUS.
22. Should I redo my bedroom?
23. I'm really feeling inspired.
24. Ohhh New Releases!
25. This cover is really pretty.
26. I should see what the book is about.
27. WOW THIS SOUNDS GOOD.
28. THRILLERS ARE MY JAM.
29. OK, I need it.
30. Ohhh, I've been wanting to read this David Sedaris book for a while.
31. Should I get it? I mean, I'm HERE.
32. WHATEVER, I'm getting it.
33. Wait, is that the new Roxane Gay?
34. Obviously, I need it.
35. Buy two get one free PAPERBACKS?
36. I really can't pass up a deal like that.
37. Aww, look at all these toys and games!
38. Ah, to be a small child again.
39. Wait, is this Wizard's Chess from Harry Potter?
40. This would look great in my living room...
41. ...NO. WALK AWAY.
42. But I should go browse the Harry Potter books.
43. You know, for nostalgia's sake.
44. Look at these new covers!!!
45. I know I own the series, but I don't own them with THESE COVERS.
46. Which clearly means I need to buy them all.
47. I just want to read the opening chapter again.
48. WHY IS J.K. ROWLING SUCH A GIFT TO THE LITERARY WORLD?
49. Alright, moving on to the Young Adult section.
50. These books are such a delight.
51. Would anyone notice if I smelled this book?
52. I mean, NOTHING is more amazing than that new book smell.
53. OK, put it down. People are looking.
54. Oooh, I should go find the Game of Thrones books.
55. I love that show.
56. WTF. THESE BOOKS ARE MASSIVE.
57. Eh, I could still probably finish the series in a month, right?
58. I'm buying them.
59. It's GOOD TO HAVE GOALS.
60. I'll start the first one right now!
61. No, wait. What time is it?
62. I'VE BEEN HERE FOR THREE HOURS.
63. IT FELT LIKE TWO MINUTES.
64. OK, I need to go. But don't you fret, Barnes & Noble.
65. I'LL BE BACK.