This week on Reddit, MrDaftJack asked for ONE sex fact everyone would benefit from knowing, and people came through with some solid advice.
1. Don't be shy in asking for what you want — it helps!
"Don't be offended if somebody steers you in the right direction. Learn from it and apply it!"
2. If your vagina continues to experience pain during penetration, don't be afraid to tell your doctor.
"If your vagina feels uncomfortably tight and/or feels like it burns a bit during penetration, masturbation, inserting a tampon, or during a gynecological exam, then something might be wrong. You might have vulvodynia or vaginismus, which can be treated with pelvic floor therapy or medication. Pain can happen because of stress, lack of lube, or just bad luck, but if it's reoccurring then get checked out! Too many women are told to suffer instead of getting the medical treatment they deserve."
3. Listening is key.
"If you're doing something and your partner starts saying, 'Yes' or 'Right there' or basically anything encouraging, it means keep doing exactly what you're doing at exactly the same pace you're doing it until the encouragement stops, subsides, or they cum."
4. There is more than one way to do things.
"Learn how to use your hands, mouth, and tongue as well as your equipment. Oral/manual stimulation can be just as intense as sex."
5. Always, always, always ask FIRST.
"Do not try to do anal without discussing it with your partner first. Nobody likes surprise anal. Especially without lube."
6. Even if you're tired, it's important to clean up.
"Peeing and cleaning up after sex are both really important. It helps you and your partner avoid UTIs. Plus a quick rinse will leave you feeling and smelling more refreshed."
7. And washing up BEFORE sex is vital, too.
"Wash your hands before sex, especially if you are going to finger your woman. A lot of times, because of spontaneous sex, men and women don't think about the germs we're putting in a very sensitive and potentially problematic areas."
8. Moaning can be sexy!
"Don't be afraid to be vocal. I don't just mean dirty talk. If you're enjoying yourself, I wanna know! I don't need porn star dialogue, but gasps of pleasure and, "Oh, wow," when I'm down there get me so hype and so turned on. Sex is the epitome of nonverbal communication, but sighs and moans and gasps just heighten the intensity."
9. Foreplay is IMPORTANT.
"Don't skip foreplay."
10. If you're with someone new, don't expect them to know all your secret turn ons.
"Whenever I would start seeing a new person, I always explained that the first few times we have sex are like 'meet and greet' practice sessions. For one thing, there is no way to know what a person likes the first time you have sex, and they don’t know how you operate either. This takes the pressure of performance off the table. It should be an exploration of each other’s desires and preferences. Expecting sex to be BOMB the first time you're with someone is silly. It’s a journey, so have fun with it!"
11. Bodily noises are normal and TOTALLY OK.
"Vagina farts are normal and nothing to be embarrassed about."
12. If you can't get turned on, it's not the end of the world.
"Sometimes guys can't get it up, and it's okay. But girls can have the same problem. It's okay if you don't always get as wet as you used to, and it doesn't mean you're broken. There's also no shame in not wanting to have sex. If you aren't feeling it, then you aren't feeling it. You don't owe sex to anybody."
13. Long term relationships don't mean things have to be boring.
"If you're in a relationship longer than year, there will be times when sex is boring, feels like a chore, or isn't as interesting or fun. You have to work at it! Find ways to excite each other, stay committed to foreplay, and make time for it."
14. Shower sex *might* be overrated.
"Shower sex is not that good. Water is a terrible lubricant, one person is going to be cold, it's usually uncomfortable and cramped, and it's really easy to slip and hurt yourself. Instead, have have sex before and shower together afterwards!"
15. CONSENT MUST BE RESPECTED!!!!
"Respect the legally binding 'safe-word.' In the general population, this word is, 'No.' For couples who have talked about this, the word might be something else. Still, boundaries MUST be respected."
16. Pillows can be very helpful.
"In missionary, put a pillow under her butt. This puts a lot less strain on her hips and allows you a better entrance angle. Trust me, it's best advice I've ever gotten."
17. Every body is different.
"Tightness has nothing to do with how many people they've slept with. It basically comes down to arousal."
18. Practice good hygiene.
"Both uncircumcised and circumcised guys, clean your thing really, really, really well after you do it. Not cleaning it well can lead to bacteria build up. It also increases your chances of passing on yeast infections to your partner. For circumcised guys, make sure to pull the skin back and clean everything — not just the shaft. For uncircumcised guys, be sure to clean the the entire foreskin, especially where the shaft connects to the glans."
19. And finally, realize that some medications will decrease the effectiveness of birth control!
"Antibiotics make the pill ineffective. If you are on the pill for birth control and you are also on antibiotics, wrap it up because you can definitely get pregnant that way."