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No One Gave Rob Pattinson Permission To Drag The Third Twilight Movie This Hard, And Yet It’s Iconic

Kristen: "See? The wig looks good there." Rob: "No it doesn’t."

If you don't already know, Robert Pattinson is a bit of a troll when it comes to commenting on the Twilight franchise, where he played the ultimate vampire love interest Edward Cullen.

Rob on talk show saying he isn't sorry the franchise is ending, jokey

His commentary for Twilight was exceptionally hilarious, and — somehow — he was invited back to reveal his thoughts on the third installment, Eclipse. So, I watched the bonus feature commentary to give you the very best of his roasts.


In this scene, we had Burger King on the day [of filming]
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It’s like you’re a Stepford wife. Stepford Wife sunglasses
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I’m so glad I didn’t get to do this bit. God, that would have been miserable
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For context, this is the scene where all the vampires are chasing Victoria, the redheaded vampire. 


Rob: In this shot, I remember I had a piece of wire inside the collar. So it could look rumpled however you want it. The most intense form of pretentious dishevelment I’ve ever seen in my life
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Rob: I just don’t get your decision-making process to leave here. [In New Moon] I didn’t even understand it at the time. I was like, I gotta break up with you immediately."
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Jacob's wolf brothers exit the house shirtless, jokey. Rob: If I ever saw my girlfriend go around to this bunch of guys’ house with them shirtless and all their little bellies out! And their fake-tanned nipples and their iron-on tattoos
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Rob: Let me just ask you a question. Did the weather affect shooting today? Kristen: Just look at the wig. It’ll give you the answers.
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Woman transforms into wolf. Rob: That must have been tough, that jump. She must have felt really silly doing that.
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Kristen: This is when he’s trying to explain imprinting Rob: That’s going to be the best scene in Breaking Dawn. Oh my god.
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“Take your shirt off!”
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Kristen: See? The wig looks good there Rob: No it doesn’t.It looks great Kristen: It looks like Jennifer Aniston’s. It looks like Anne Hathaway’s hair. Okay, just cut this out.
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Graduation party scene. Rob: Wow I would not want to be at this party. It just does not look fun
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Graduation party scene. Rob: Remember in the first one we were at the prom. And then we were there for three seconds before we left?
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Carlisle standing. Rob: Peter also uses his wig as a cereal bowl. It’s just completely stiff.
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Rob: The woofs have arrived
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Jacob as a CGI wolf with Bella. Rob: Why couldn’t they use real wolves?
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Rob: It’s like, you can’t just keep going off with the naked guy all the time. If I started hanging out with girls with their boobs out all the time, then you just would not like it. BOOBS!” Kristen: Are you drunk right now, seriously? Rob: I’m so tired.
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Rob Slurps loudly. Kristen: yeah just really sip your coffee like that it’s what fans want. Rob: It’s an arnold palmer
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Rob: You look like you’re milking him (Jake holding Bella close in tent)
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Rob: Why do I have such long sideburns?
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Rob: I love how I’m hitting his face into a pile of snow.
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Rob: Can I sign your cast?
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Rob "God, what is Edward on about half the time?"
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Honestly, Rob? Never change.

Rob saying a lot of stuff in the twilight world doesn't make any sense in an interview