1. The urination catastrophe:
"I went to a wedding where the groom’s mom got so drunk she peed herself and yelled, 'OH MY GOD! I’m peeing, guys!' as she was peeing in her chair. Then, she kept laughing in the chair she had just peed in for over five minutes. Later, she passed out on her bed in the same clothes. The reception was at her house since it’s a big, beautiful, secluded property by a lake. Her sister had to clean up the pee-covered chair in front of everyone."
2. The salty, attention-seeking friend:
"I went to one wedding where there was a woman who was very salty that she was not asked to be a bridesmaid, especially since her husband was a groomsman. She found out what the bridesmaids' dresses looked like and wore the closest thing she could find to make it look like she was also a member of the wedding party. She threw a tantrum on two occasions because she wouldn't be announced with the wedding party at the reception, so she clung to her husband's arm with his assigned bridesmaid on the other. Also, she found flowers and walked in by herself as the bride's special friend. So awkward."
3. The monster children nightmare:
"A friend of mine wanted NO kids at her wedding. It was on the invitation. Her cousin came with two kids under three years old and then threw a fit at my bride friend. The bride let it go since they had already arrived. During the ceremony, those kids were running around the church, screaming, and pulling decorations off to throw at each other. The mom didn't do anything. I have NEVER seen a more pissed off bride in my life. I felt so bad."
4. The awkwardly inappropriate drunken uncle remark:
"I attended a wedding where the wedding cake had a picture of the bride and groom on it, but the even cringier part was the drunk uncle of the groom who said, 'I’m eating one of your wife’s boobs!' to the groom. The entire room went dead silent."
5. The pastor who forgot what happens next:
"At a wedding, the flower arrangements started catching fire because someone thought it was a good idea to put the candles INSIDE the flower arrangements. It got worse when the pastor declared the couple husband and wife and finished everything up WITHOUT ever doing the part where they exchange rings. He had completely forgot. When the groom quietly pointed it out, the pastor got defensive and tried to deny that he had made a mistake, saying that they hadn't said anything about rings to him before the service. It was a wedding service! I would say rings being included was pretty self-explanatory."
6. The sneaky, sneaky period nightmare:
"This happened at my wedding. During the reception, I stood for a good two hours greeting guests and talking to them. I decided to sit down briefly to take a break. My sister — who was also my maid of honor — was sitting next to me. When I got up, she grabbed me from behind and pressed me close to her. My mother and aunt were nearby, and they inconspicuously brought me to the bathroom. I'd gotten my period and they noticed you could see a big red spot right on the butt of my white dress. Fortunately, my sister had a stain stick with her and my aunt went to the gas station to buy tampons. My mother said, 'Pity, I thought I was soon to be a grandmother!'"
7. The divided wedding catastrophe:
"At my (male) cousin’s wedding, the groom’s side paid for everything. The bride’s contribution was an open bar that was ONLY for her friends and family. The marriage lasted a year."
8. The drunken first dance disaster:
"I was at a wedding where the groom got so drunk, he fell and broke a wine glass during the bride and groom dance. He had to be helped to his seat — but the bride blamed it on a childhood injury! The bride’s father was very disappointed."
9. The toast that went way, way too far:
"My friend's ex-husband is a politician. During his wedding toast, he insulted the priest, didn't mention his new wife, and ended his toast by saying, 'F**k the lib dems!' Mortifying."
10. The overly jealous fiancée interruption:
"The DJ made individuals that caught the garter and bouquet dance together. The guy that caught the garter got engaged the weekend before, and his new fiancée stormed drunkenly onto the dance floor (TWICE) trying to pull them apart. On her third storm-out, she forcibly cut in and the girl with the bouquet awkwardly walked off the dance floor."
11. The dad that was overzealous to overshare:
"At my dad's cousin's wedding, the father of the bride used his speech to intimately describe his daughter's difficult birth. It went on for 15 minutes, and he used the phrase 'mucus plug' at least three times."
12. The lighthearted pants-around-the-ankles accident:
"At my brother's wedding, my grandpa's pants fell down around his ankles. Instead of pulling them back up, he (loudly!) asked, 'Is anyone going to take a picture?!'"
13. The plastered father of the bride disaster:
"I went to a wedding where the father of the bride was very hammered by the time he got up to give his speech. He gave a very drunken speech thanking himself for paying for the wedding. To top it off, when you thought this guy was about to start the father–daughter dance, he puts on a top hat and brings out a sex doll, then does some ridiculous choreographed dance with this sex doll in front of EVERYONE. Yikes."
14. The attendee who didn't give a f*ck about breaking the rules:
"I was at an unplugged wedding, but it didn’t stop a guest from getting in the middle of the aisle with their iPad to take a photo when the bride walked down. Don't do this! Super awkward."
15. The unintentional pregnancy announcement:
"During the dollar dance, the DJ announced, 'Don't crowd the bride because she's pregnant.' This came as a surprise to some guests. The bride then came up to some of us and said, 'I know there are a lot of rumors going around and yes, I'm pregnant, but that's not the reason we got married.' Um, there were no rumors."
16. The ex-boyfriend disaster:
"I went to a close friend's wedding in North Carolina several years ago, and for some reason a mutual friend brought the bride's long-term ex-boyfriend as her plus-one. Everything was fine until he got tipsy and shook the groom's hand during the reception and SHOUTED, 'Enjoy the sloppy seconds!' So many people heard and nobody knew how to react."
17. The surprising walk down the aisle:
"The father of the bride walked her down the aisle with a can of beer in his hand."
18. The awkward bouquet/garter moment:
"At one of the last weddings I attended a woman caught the bouquet, but the man who caught the garter was related to her. They were niece and uncle. She wanted nothing to do with him putting the garter on her, although he tried — um — harder than a family member should."
19. The cringeworthy baby nuptials:
"The celebrant conducted the ceremony on behalf of the couple's 6-month-old daughter. He said everything in first person from the baby's perspective, including 'Daddy, do you take mummy to be your wife?'"
20. The cousin who needs to learn better etiquette:
"My cousin wore a white dress to my sister's wedding and spent most of her time during the reception handing out invitations to her baby shower."
21. The analogy that should have never been:
"I once went to a wedding where the pastor tried to explain how a marriage should be like our relationship with Jesus: sacrificial and forgiving. But he described it as a relationship between a mother and her baby. He said, ‘Sometimes the baby pees on his mother but the mother still loves the baby, and that’s how strong your love should be. You should be OK if your spouse pees on you.' Sooooo cringey."
22. And finally, the present that nobody — literally nobody — asked for:
"Some friends surprised the bride and groom with two goats. They brought the goats up mid-ceremony during an outdoor wedding, and the goats started PEEING. The bride was furious because it almost ruined her dress. It made the rest of the ceremony awkward."