1. "How can I describe this woman as friendly? Ah, I'VE GOT IT."

lordandsaviour / Via reddit.com
2. "This is 100% how breasts work. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about."

crazy3000 / Via reddit.com
3. "I've got a great line. Women should really talk more about their breasts' feelings!!!!"

afuckingpagan / Via reddit.com
4. "This is definitely how a father would describe his daughter."

wherethewindssigh / Via reddit.com
5. "Just want to make it VERY clear how sexy her breasts are!!!"

Bashfulapplesnapple / Via reddit.com
6. "Since women peak at age 19, I want to make sure readers know she's not a decrepit 36-year-old!!!!!!"

hotmopo / Via reddit.com
7. "I can write women really well because I've had exactly one conversation with a woman."

cheribella / Via reddit.com
8. "I've done this to zero women, but I know it makes sense."

princess_nell / Via reddit.com
9. "What do you mean, 'This sounds creepy'?"

mylifeinneon / Via reddit.com
10. "What should I compare these breasts to? I'VE GOT IT. PUPPIES."
I'm sorry, her breasts do WHAT
11. "I'm such an artist with words."

hupigi / Via reddit.com
12. "Of course I know why some women are confrontational!!!"

daelight_tk / Via reddit.com
13. "Breasts totally get scared."

tswan89 / Via reddit.com
14. "I really can't fathom why nobody has ever thought to write about breasts this way. God, I'm creative."

CurdledBeans / Via reddit.com
15. "How do I write about her abs in a sexy way? I KNOW."

inquisitorial_25 / Via reddit.com
16. "Mm, yes. Flesh skeleton."

_renji / Via reddit.com
17. "Man, sheep are totally underrated."

wingeddinosaur / Via reddit.com
18. "I know what women want to hear because I am an expert."

BringMeDatCorpse / Via reddit.com
19. "This is Pulitzer material."

sadhairahcaz / Via reddit.com