As Someone Who Has Never Seen "Sex And The City," I Watched The Pilot And Finale And Nothing In Between

    The only thing I truly know about this show is its iconic theme song.

    Hi internet! It's me, Farrah, here to do another First Episode/Last Episode, where I watch only the pilot and finale of a show and nothing in the middle. This week, we're diving into a sitcom I can't believe I've never loyally watched: SEX AND THE CITY.

    Here's everything I know about Sex and the City: It's a show about four white ladies living in New York, navigating their love lives among a sea of trash men. One of the men Carrie dates is named Big, but that can't possibly be his real name?? I think the redhead is a lawyer. The other blonde — Miranda? — is the most sexually liberated of the bunch. Oh, and it's narrated by Carrie, who writes stuff.

    So for better or worse, here are all my thoughts and feelings on the pilot of Sex and the City and immediately after, the finale.

    We open up with Carrie telling a story about this poor blonde girl who got ghosted by some wealthy asshole New Yorker. She's supposed to be from England, but her accent is VERY MUCH Australian. Off to a great start!

    I'm surprised by the format of the pilot, specifically how much the fourth wall is being broken?!

    This is an interesting way to introduce your main characters. I didn't expect it!!! Also, I realized I clearly mixed up the names in the beginning — my bad. At least I got Charlotte and Carrie right.

    The blonde Australian is literally never mentioned again!! TBH they should have just opened the pilot with this scene, where Samantha basically explains why you should give up on love. We love a relatable queen.

    And then Miranda jumps in with a story where she's like, "Listen, I dated this sensitive soul and honestly, I just wanted that D, but he, like, wanted to read me poetry???"

    Carrie and Charlotte disagree because ROMANCE. But then Carrie goes home and thinks, HMMMM, perhaps my gal Sam is right???

    The next day, Carrie goes out to lunch with her friend and spots a dude she used to sleep with. Her friend tries to have a come-to-Jesus moment with her where he's like, "CARRIE, PLEASE RESPECT YOURSELF."

    They cast this dude well because he absolutely looks skeevy as fuck.

    Of course, Carrie doesn't listen to her friend because she's doing "research" on loveless relationships. So, they plan to hook up.

    Annnnnd they hook up — sans feelings — and Carrie's like g2g bye!!!!

    I KNOW WHO THIS GUY IS!!! He's Big!!! Didn't realize Carrie meets him in the pilot. She drops her purse on the street and things spill everywhere, including condoms, and he helps her pick it up. Gotta love that trope.

    Later that night, Carrie tries to set up Miranda and her friend Skipper, and it doesn't go great!!! Also, I love that this club is called Chaos. I also love that they're thirtysomethings in a club on a first date. That's a real vibe.

    So...this clearly hasn't aged well!! Samantha spots Big from across the room, and then this happens.

    Anyway, she goes to flirt with him while Carrie looks on and supports her.

    Meanwhile, Charlotte is on a date with a fancy publishing dude and says she's going to head home early, but then HE hops into her taxi and asks to be taken to Club Chaos because SHE DIDN'T WANNA HAVE SEX. Imagine someone saying these words out loud.

    While that's happening, Samantha tried to make her moves on Big only to get rejected. I saw this coming only because I know Carrie and Big have a long history.

    But then — twist! — Samantha hooks up with Charlotte's fancy publishing dude at Club Chaos. Whatever will Charlotte think????

    Carrie is trying to get home after her wild night at Club Chaos, and lo and behold Big spots her from his car.

    Anyway, I feel like this is rule #1 of what not to do in NYC when a strange man yells at you from his car:

    Is this, like, the big revelation of the series? That Carrie writes a love column but has never been in love?

    It ends with Big dropping Carrie off at home, but also...she never asks for his name??? Do we ever find out his name? Or is he only Big for the rest of the series?

    That was a solid pilot. I feel like it was a little rocky in the beginning, but it played out nicely. So, without further ado, here are my predictions for how the rest of the series goes.

    Alright folks, let's jump straight to the finale. Before I begin, I will acknowledge that I know there were at least two movies made. I'm not counting either of those as the finale, though, since we're discussing the show!

    I know I'm only watching the second part of the finale, so don't yell at me in the comments. First of all, one of my predictions is already wrong: Carrie is in Paris (not NYC!!) and she's been there for two weeks for some reason. She's about to meet up with her current beau's ex-wife??? Who is she dating? And why would she put herself through that???

    The guy Carrie's seeing — Alek! — is late. BUT WHAT ABOUT BIG???? Weren't they soulmates??? Anyway, it's clear that this whole situation is awkward and uncomfortable.

    It gets even more awkward when the only thing they settle on discussing is the interior design.

    Aw, Charlotte is adopting a kid! But then she says this, which makes me think everything is about to go wrong.

    Samantha had/has cancer?! I did not see that coming. The guy she's seeing seems sweet. He told her he's been in therapy, which is surprisingly mature???? Seems like a keeper.

    In the meantime, this is going super well.

    Alek looks like he could be Carrie's dad's cool, hip friend. He completely blew off their lunch and then gets a call telling him he needs to go BACK to the museum. I don't like him. Why isn't she with Big?

    There's a sad montage of Carrie roaming Paris by herself, but she goes to a cafe and orders a shit ton of sweets and meets a dog so IDK, it doesn't seem that bad!!!

    Here's Miranda! It seems like she's married to this guy Steve, whose mother is currently having a strange episode. They also have a kid, so I guess Charlotte isn't the first.

    Samantha's beau is leaving for Canada to film a movie, and she basically tells him to go have sex with whoever over there. He doesn't take it well. Poor dude, he really likes her. I hope he's a good guy.

    Uh oh, I sense some tension between Steve and Miranda? He made this face after she kissed him, but his mom also had a stroke so IDK, he might just be in his feelings?

    Oh, Carrie wrote a book! This French bookstore lady recognized her and wants to throw her a party. You know, just that GLAM PARIS LIFE.

    Remember when Charlotte said, "I hope nothing goes wrong"? Well...the other shoe dropped. They aren't getting their baby.

    Meanwhile, Hot Therapy Actor sent Miranda a plant with this encouraging message. WHAT A GUY!!!

    Charlotte came over to Miranda's place and AWWW, I love their friendship. But then Steve's mom wanders out of the house and throws her into a panic.

    Carrie's super excited for her party, but Alek has a panic attack and makes her feel guilty for not going to his show with him. GET THIS TOXIC MAN OUTTA YA LIFE, GIRL.

    Miranda finds Steve's mom eating pizza out of the garbage and takes her home. WHEW. Bullet dodged.

    Alek ditches Carrie the second he feels reassured that he's The Man™ at his own art show, and Carrie ditches to try and make it to her party. Also, her outfit feels almost like a callback to what she's wearing in the opening credits.

    OK, here's what I don't understand. Before, Carrie said she didn't have anyone's number, but the party was at a restaurant???? Why didn't she just call????? Also, this is very much deserved. Like, everyone went out of their way to do this for you, and you just ghosted.

    Back at the hotel, she and Alek get into a fight. Alek accidentally slaps her. Carrie's like, "I HAVE REGRETS!" But, um, I didn't realize until now that she'd permanently moved to Paris. And also, is she not friends with everyone anymore?????

    There's another little callback to the pilot in the hotel lobby when Carrie drops her necklace and Big walks in. What? How did he get to Paris? Why? Did she call him? She doesn't seem super surprised????

    LOOOL. That's...all she's gonna say?

    Back in New York, Samantha and Hot Therapy Boy are in it to win it and I support this very much.

    Charlotte and her husband get a happy ending, too — they're getting a baby! I still don't really know what happened with Miranda's love life with Steve, but it seems like it ended on a hopeful note?

    And, of course, THE GIRLS REUNITE.

    Carrie goes back to writing.

    Big's name is John! Is this a thing where everyone found out his name in the finale, or did they eventually say what his name was during the last six seasons?

    And ends!!!!

    I feel like the finale wasn't bad?! Like, it ended pretty happily for everyone involved? They stopped breaking the fourth wall and it felt smoother than the pilot. From watching only the first and last episode, I have to say that Samantha is my favorite, then Charlotte, then Miranda, then Carrie. I might go back and watch some episodes because it feels really cute, but I definitely missed out when the show was ~a thing.~ And if you've made it this far, tell me your favorite character and fave episode in the comments.