1.
& hes making a list & hes checking it twice & hes gonna found out Who is naughty or Nice now He takes off her dress now Let me go
2.
What I really want is a Hallmark movie where a woman learns the true meaning of Christmas while she hunts a serial killer.
3.
elf: the reindeer need names santa: fine, uhh dasher elf: ok santa: dancer elf: uh huh santa: prancer elf: got it santa: vixen elf: yep-what? santa: *licking lips* vixen
4.
Can men honestly relax
5.
MALE REINDEER LOSE THEIR ANTLERS IN WINTER AND FEMALES DONT THEREFORE SANTA’S SLEIGH IS PULLED BY A TEAM OF STRONG, POWERFUL, UNDERRATED WOMEN!!!! YOU GO, GIRLS!! I SEE YOU!!!!
6.
3yo: dad I want to make a gingerbread man! Me: okay! 3yo: and then I’ll eat him! Me: okay! 3yo: then I‘ll eat a real man! Me: okayyyyyyyyy....
7.
[me telling my story how I survived a plane crash and lived on a deserted island for a year] it was crazy [friend who once got a text from me where I accidentally called the grinch the grink] was the grink there?
8.
[to the tune of "santa baby"] yoda baby make some serotonin for me yes please
9.
Final exams are the true nightmare before Christmas
10.
Get in loser we’re driving around the rich neighborhoods and looking at their Christmas lights
11.
🎵 "Oh Christmas Shibe oh Christmas Shibe" 🎶
12.
Took my dogs to take their yearly christmas photos. It’s really hard when you have one super photogenic dog and one dog having an existential crisis.
13.
"My cat is afraid of tangerines, so i created a force field to protect the Christmas tree ..."
14.
boss: you know what’s weird me: how the flintsones celebrate Christmas even tho they live in 10,000 b.c? boss: how the flin— yes exactly
15.
there’s a Friday the 13th in December... ...A nightmare before Christmas, you might say
16.
Every Mom on Christmas morning watching you open presents:
17.
me coming back from christmas break in 2nd grade ready to tell the rich kids santa klaus is fake cus i didn’t get a playstation