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Which Member Of H605 Are You?

In honor of the final 30 or so days before graduation, we present to you the king of all personality quizzes. Find out which one of these debauched seniors your spirit encapsulates!

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  1. What is your music taste?

    Opera: it's the best way to love
    The soundtrack to Lagaan
    Country
    Sad/Emo white boy music
    I pretend like I like Bollywood music, but I'm really into white people tunes
    Anything in Hindi/Urdu
  2. What university would you be at right now if waitlist/transferring didn't work out?

    University of Maryland: big enough so I could be the anonymous troll I've always wanted to be
    Auburn: where I wouldn't have to deal with pretension
    Johns Hopkins: as "Southern" as Virginia
    Emory University: where the weather is much more Miami-like
    Boston University: where I could unleash my inner frat boy
    Duke: where my "party hard" habits would be more acceptable
  3. I am a student leader in/on...

    The CU swimming team
    Muslim Students Association
    Columbia Organization of Rising Entrepreneurs
    Columbia Spectator
    Hindu Students Organization
    I lack leadership skills
  4. What is your favorite Columbia campus resource?

    Free condoms
    Swimming pools
    My professors: I go to bars with them all the time
    CAVA
    Dining services
    Columbia should not provide resources to its students
  5. What is your pet peeve?

    Northerners
    The grid
    Refugees
    Columbia Spectator
    Raven from "The Bachelor" (specifically her eyebrows)
    Memes about Cornell/all suitemates not named Hari Devaraj/everything about Columbia University/everything about the world in general
  6. What is your relationship status?

    Stable monogamy
    Repeated pregnancy scares
    Mostly underclassmen
    Nothing. Absolutely nothing. A void through which no love passes
    Burgeoning romance
    I hate people
  7. What are your political views?

    Liberal snowflake
    I'm impressionable
    Contrarian for the sake of being contrarian
    Realism (read: bomb the Third World)
    Forget about politics today: have you all read about the shit that happened during the Vietnam War???
    Politically correct on the outside, but politically incorrect otherwise
  8. What is your signature article of clothing?

    Women's cardigans
    Cowboy boots
    Oversized beanies
    Boating shoes
    Stolen Patagonia gear and plain white T's
    Plad shirts
  9. On a typical night, you're...

    Studying compulsively
    Sleeping early to wake up for practice
    Pretending you're an entrepreneur
    Getting wildly drunk, going to 1020/Mel's, and stumbling home alone after being unable to walk in a straight line
    On a date
    Going for a run
  10. After graduation, I will...

    Work as a corporate sellout
    Make more money than the rest of my suitemates combined
    Attempting to relive old glory as a swim coach
    Become a degenerate in Washington DC
    Probably be putting people in Guantanamo
    Be my own boss

Which Member Of H605 Are You?

You got: Simon Schwartz

You're a young Southern buck taking New York City by storm. When you're not hatching the most elaborate ways to have a good time, you're quoting the most obscure poets, farmers and country singers from memory. The perfect juxtaposition between genteel and crude, you never shy away from a challenge (unless of course that challenge involves drinking 15 beers in 2 hours). What you lack in height you make up for in unwavering confidence.

Simon Schwartz
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You got: Rachit Mohan

The refinement in your fashion sense can only be surpassed by the refinement in your vocabulary. When you're not belting out tunes in the shower, you're masterfully dancing your way through an inordinate amount of responsibilities. Your ability to get by on no sleep is breathtaking, as is your pong game. How you've managed to stay alive through all your escapades is beyond the rest of us. New York won't shine nearly as bright without you next year.

Rachit Mohan
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You got: Hari Devaraj

Mix the fashion sense of an old woman, the coding ability of a master hacker, and the social skills of an inanimate object, and you've got Hari Devaraj. While you've got a pretty face, we're not quite sure what's going on inside that head. Your multiple personalities keep everyone on their toes, but all of them are infinitely lovable. Your ability to go against the grain and talk about things in a realistic, un-Columbia way is admirable, as is your starting salary after college (please share with the rest of us). And of course, your ability to get Shravani to keep visiting our suite despite our gross habits, crudeness, and depravity is downright impressive.

Hari Devaraj
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You got: Forrest Davis

A brown man trapped in the exterior of a white man wrapped in existential bitterness: your outlook on the world is just as dark as your taste in music, and your distaste for Columbia is just as strong as your distaste for religion. All that being said, you're the most passionate member of H605 when it comes to what you're actually learning here, and your ability to turn the living room into a Bollywood dance party is unparalleled. Although you were once the third best breaststroke swimmer in the country, you can now debate linguistics and Disney movies for hours on end. You're a hopeless romantic who doesn't like to show it, but the rarity of your affection makes it all the more valuable.

Forrest Davis
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You got: Salvatore Borgognone

Take the frat boy antagonist from any college movie, make him obsessed with foreign policy, and you get Salvatore Borgognone. Your ability to seduce is unprecedented, but you may actually enjoy reading about all the action in the Middle East more than you enjoy getting action. Your interventionist foreign policy is contrasted with your strong pull-out game. While all the rest of us talk about lofty ideals and helping the world, you're actually helping people as part of your job (unlike the rest of the useless student leaders of H605). We're all excited we know someone who will become Secretary of State one day, but terrified of what you'll do when you have that much power.

Salvatore Borgognone
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You got: Faizan Kothari

With a focused exterior that is quick to break into a warm wide smile, you’re H605’s anchor Faizan Kothari: the Big Panda. You tackle your leadership roles with uncommon calm and confidence, turning from your duties only to keep an eye on your reckless suitemates. Often seen holding court in Dining Halls around campus, peers seek you out for your wit and intellect, only to find the best of it has been devoted to savagely roasting your friends. Despite this, you’re universally acknowledged as the life of the party, and your broads in Atlanta are very sorry you left.

Faizan Kothari
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