Hi! I'm Fabiana — a 28-year-old gal who shockingly doesn't mind chatting about relationships and dating — despite being single AF.
Last year, I wrote a post about how weird and wild the online dating game is — and was really surprised by the responses. It seemed to connect with a lot of people, and many readers reached out to me directly telling me so.
ICYMI, here's the recap: In early 2021, I was newly single and decided to once again try out dating apps after being off them for a year. Well, the experience was just as shitty as I somewhat expected and remembered it to be. Highlights included a guy who stood me up on a FaceTime date and then lied about his dog dying. I really cringe thinking back to that time.
Fast forward to now: I figured why not write about and explain where my head is currently at with dating because let's face it, on social media (especially TikTok), dating — and being single — seems like it's being talked about more often than ever.
As you might have guessed, I have been off dating apps since my previous online dating post — so for a total of two years now — and I am as single and happy as can be. I realize that I'm at that age where a lot of people around me — friends or social media acquaintances — are in relationships, getting engaged, walking down the aisle, or posing with their partners in front of their newly bought house or condo. (I know, even in this economy!)
Now, before you slide in my DMs pitching your cousin's boyfriend's friend who is single as a potential prospect for me, I am here to explain why I am fully loving and embracing single life as an almost 29-year-old woman. Let's keep in mind that my goal here is not to sound anti-relationship, but to help people realize that being single at whatever age is normal and quite empowering.
On that note, here are all the things (lessons?) I have learned and embraced while being single.
1. I am able to solely focus on my wants and needs.
I've been using my time as a single person wisely by making decisions solely for myself and my needs. I'm sure some can relate to this, but when I was in romantic relationships, I gave a lot of myself to them.
I was constantly filling up my partners' cups while leaving mine empty. I was watering someone else's flowers but not mine. I can go on and on with these sayings, but you get my point. I was emotionally drained from these relationships. So I figured it's about damn time I start doing things that fill my cup so I can be the best version of myself now — and when I do eventually want to seriously date.
2. I have learned how to find true happiness within myself.
3. I'm careful about who I give my time and energy to.
I sadly experienced a toxic relationship and I remember many sleepless nights where I was filled with anxious thoughts and worries over someone who truly wasn't worth my time and energy. Rather than making myself a priority, I was spending way too much time on this person — who really I should've ended things with way sooner.
Reflecting back on that time in my life, I am more selective about who I want to give my time and energy to now that I've matured into a more confident version of myself. I'm at a place in life where I won't go on just any date or overthink a situation with a guy because all that time spent worrying over nothing is less time I am focusing on other more important things, like work, family, friends, and yes, myself.
4. I am able to reflect on past relationships and learn what I want — and don't want — out of a partner.
5. I recognize my worth and have vowed to myself to never settle.
6. Everyone has their own timeline.
Overall, I'm happy with where I'm at in my dating life.
I think being single is a really healthy and necessary experience. Am I open to dating and meeting people? Definitely! Am I putting a lot of stock right now into dating and trying to meet the right person for me? Not really. I'm choosing myself right now and focusing on things that I can control.
Just to iterate though, everyone and their dating experiences are different — so it's important to listen to your gut, do what's best for you, and embrace wherever stage you're at in your love life.