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25 Greatest Lines From "Romy And Michele's High School Reunion"

I mean, every line is a great line, but these are, like, the best, BEST lines.

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1. "Look. They won't let her shop. Yeah, like those salesgirls in Beverly Hills aren't bigger whores than she is."

*Cue the sad Pretty Woman music*
Touchstone Pictures / Via Netflix

*Cue the sad Pretty Woman music*

2. "Why don't you tell everyone I said to go fuck themselves for making my teen years a living hell?"

Heather. She feels so many feels.
Touchstone Pictures / Via Netflix

Heather. She feels so many feels.

3. "Didn't he die?"

Poor, Danny Weller...
Touchstone Pictures / Via Netflix

Poor, Danny Weller...

4. "What a bitch taking your hamburger. I mean, what was that?"

SERIOUSLY.
Touchstone Pictures / Via Netflix

SERIOUSLY.

5. "Of course we're, like, the only ones who don't look like we're going to a hoedown."

Classic introverts.
Touchstone Pictures / Via Netflix

Classic introverts.

6. "Me? Me? Me be more sensitive? You are a jerkoff!"

I just can't... My heart is breaking.
Touchstone Pictures / Via Netflix

I just can't... My heart is breaking.

7. "Would you excuse me? I cut my foot before, and my shoe is filling up with blood."

To this day, I use this line when I'm at a club and a gross guy makes a pass at me. I mean, it really is my only option.
Touchstone Pictures / Via Netflix

To this day, I use this line when I'm at a club and a gross guy makes a pass at me. I mean, it really is my only option.

8. "Yeah, I'd like to go away..."

Outlets = Hell on Earth
Touchstone Pictures / Via Netflix

Outlets = Hell on Earth

9. "Michelle, that's it! We can go to the reunion and just pretend to be successful. I mean, who's gonna know? They're in Tucson. We're here."

That's what most people do anyway. Am I right?
Touchstone Pictures / Via Netflix

That's what most people do anyway. Am I right?

10. "Did you deduct 16 pounds for your shoes?"

Can we discuss how impressive it is that Romy and Michele can walk on the treadmill in 16-pound heels?!
Touchstone Pictures / Via Netflix

Can we discuss how impressive it is that Romy and Michele can walk on the treadmill in 16-pound heels?!

11. "Is that an earthquake? No, it's Ramon!"

Fun Fact: In a previous scene, Ramon was watching "Deep Space Homer," an episode of The Simpsons that director David Mirkin wrote. He was also the showrunner for seasons 5 and 6.
Touchstone Pictures / Via Netflix

Fun Fact: In a previous scene, Ramon was watching "Deep Space Homer," an episode of The Simpsons that director David Mirkin wrote. He was also the showrunner for seasons 5 and 6.

12. "I have no idea what the rest of the lyrics are."

No one does...
Touchstone Pictures / Via Netflix

No one does...

13. "Do you have some sort of businesswoman special?"

They're businesswomen. From LA. And they deserve their own special.
Touchstone Pictures / Via Netflix

They're businesswomen. From LA. And they deserve their own special.

14. "Believe it or not, I invented Post-Its."

She did not. She did not. It was a guy named Art Fry from the 3M corp.
Touchstone Pictures / Via Netflix

She did not. She did not. It was a guy named Art Fry from the 3M corp.

15. "Ordinarily when you make glue first you need to thermoset your resin and then after it cools you have to mix in an epoxide, which is really just a fancy-schmancy name for any simple oxygenated adhesive, right?"

"...And then I thought maybe, just maybe, you could raise the viscosity by adding a complex glucose derivative during the emulsification process and it turns out I was right."
Touchstone Pictures / Via Netflix

"...And then I thought maybe, just maybe, you could raise the viscosity by adding a complex glucose derivative during the emulsification process and it turns out I was right."

16. "When I made my first million my present to myself was a new face."

Sandy Frink got swag.
Touchstone Pictures / Via Netflix

Sandy Frink got swag.

17. "I'm sorry. I couldn't find my top."

*Applause*
Touchstone Pictures / Via Netflix

*Applause*

18. "Not until you admit that I'm the Mary and you're the Rhoda."

"I'm the Mary! I'm the Mary!"
Touchstone Pictures / Via Netflix

"I'm the Mary! I'm the Mary!"

19. "Michele and I just felt out of touch about two hours ago."

It's ok. You guys will get back together and kick some A-Group ass!
Touchstone Pictures / Via Netflix

It's ok. You guys will get back together and kick some A-Group ass!

20. "If anybody needs to make a call, I've got a phone."

This is just too painful to watch...
Touchstone Pictures / Via Netflix

This is just too painful to watch...

21. "Fuck off!"

"Heather Mooney? Oh my God. You're exactly the same!"
Touchstone Pictures / Via Netflix

"Heather Mooney? Oh my God. You're exactly the same!"

22. "But you know what I finally realized? I don't care if you like us, 'cause we don't like you. You're a bad person with an ugly heart, and we don't give a flying fuck what you think!"

BOOM!
Touchstone Pictures / Via Netflix

BOOM!

23. "Please don't tell me to 'fuck off' because it really hurts my feelings."

"I hurt your feelings? Tremendous!"
Touchstone Pictures / Via Netflix

"I hurt your feelings? Tremendous!"

24. "If you fuck with me, in any way, I will rip each and every appendage from your body, starting with your dick. Capisce?"

Look. He j-just w-wanted to talk.
Touchstone Pictures / Via Netflix

Look. He j-just w-wanted to talk.

25. "It's like I've given birth to my own baby girl, except she's a big giant girl who smokes and says 'shit' a lot, you know?"

And on that note... Let's fold scarves!
Touchstone Pictures / Via Netflix

And on that note... Let's fold scarves!

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