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The 25 Worst Cats In The World

Cats — they don't clean up after themselves, they don't pay rent, and it's not even clear whether they really like you all that much. Why do we love them?

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1. The lousy roommate:


Characteristics: Cat-food breath, up all hours of the night, minimal regard for personal space.

What to do if you meet one: Gently explain that you are vastly more amenable to a morning face-licking after you have had a cup of coffee.

2. The inconsiderate friend:


Characteristics: Narcisissm, casual cruelty, borderline sociopathy.

What to do if you meet one: Gently explain that your face cone is a protective device and not a walkway.

3. The moper:


Characteristics: Moping, wasting the day away, sleeping literally on top of your face.

What to do if you meet one: Make sure you have something to read on your bedside table, as there's absolutely no way out of this one.

4. The contrarian:


Characteristics: Thinking she's better than you, refusing to listen to your uninformed opinions.

What to do if you meet one: Try seeing things from her point of view.

5. The vandal:


Characteristics: Destructive behavior, sudden aggressive impulses.

What to do if you meet one: Shredded toilet paper is an excellent base for a papier-mâché project!

8. The lovebirds:


Characteristics: PDA, saccharine professions of adoration, maudlin speeches about being in love, general unwanted nuzzling.

What to do if you meet one: Gently explain to your cats that they need to get a room and, while they are at it, consider paying some rent.

10. The teenager:


Characteristics: Hating everything you love, and vice versa.

What to do if you meet one: Wait until they have grown up and left home, then ask them why they never call or write.

11. The jerks:


Characteristics: Fighting, shouting, pointless macho displays.

What to do if you meet one: Remind yourself that cats are not equipped with conflict-resolution abilities, then feel guilty for judging them.

13. The "artist":


Characteristics: An all-encompassing, unwavering belief that his "performance art" is "important."

What to do if you meet one: Have an absolutely watertight reason why you can't make it to his show tonight.

14. The couch potato:


Characteristics: TV addiction, Olympic-caliber laziness.

What to do if you meet one: Pull up a seat on the couch and make peace with the fact that every night from now on will be a night in.

18. The one-percenter:


Characteristics: Extremely expensive tastes, constantly judging you.

What to do if you meet one: Make sure your bathroom sink is stocked with luxury bath salts.

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