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    PETA Costumes I've Worn

    I've been inside a lot of PETA costumes. Some of them are warmer and more comfortable than others. This is what they're like.

    I worked at PETA from 2004 to 2008. During this time I saw the inside of a lot of costumes. This is what a few of them were like to wear.

    The Pig

    The pig is actually pretty snug and you have decent mobility. I would happily hang out in the pig costume just lounging around the house or running errands or whatever. Maybe minus the head, which is a bit unwieldy.

    As costumes of this kind go, you have a pretty good range of vision, which as you can see in this picture becomes kind of a creepy thing, because you can see my eyes through the eyes of the pig in a way that is actually kind of unsettling if you happen to think about it for too long.

    The pig is almost always paired with his friends the cow and the chicken for use in general meat-related demonstrations and ad campaigns, as below.

    In the final version of this ad, they toned down my eyes a lot because people were worried about the creepy factor, but you can still see them if you look closely and it still looks sinister.

    The Draize Rabbit

    I actually don't remember for certain whether I've climbed inside this bad boy -- it is a fucking huge costume that didn't get much use after the vivisection campaigns of the '90s and ended up just kind of floating around the office. But I vividly remember it staring at me accusingly, with its miserable bloodshot eyes.

    The Elephant

    I'm not sure if this is the exact elephant costume I've been inside, but the point of the elephant is that you want to be in the elephant if you're doing a circus protest in the winter, because circuses take a long-ass time and it's cold as fuck standing still and holding a sign for three or four hours and the elephant is the warmest place to be by a long shot.

    The elephant is like a world unto itself, with a nice, roomy head that you can fill with your warm breath and snug little gloves and slippers to keep your hands and feet from freezing. Honestly, you can just go to sleep inside that thing.

    The Nugget

    "The Nugget" is actually supposed to be a baby chicken whose catchphrase is "I am not a nugget," so it is not without some irony that he has come to be known, by those who know him, as "The Nugget," but I guess we can't pick our own nicknames.

    As you might imagine, The Nugget is incredibly roomy, but he's also very light, and this quality - combined with the fact that your legs are unencumbered by the costume and free to do as they please - can contribute to an overwhelming desire to run around and knock things over while you're wearing the thing.

    But most people will forgive you for any such transgressions, because most people - except perhaps the ideologically disinclined - will want to hug you when you are wearing The Nugget.

    The Baby Coat

    The baby coat is fine. It wears just like a regular coat. But people look at you funny.

    This was one of those weird ideas that maybe made more sense on paper - a "fur coats are animal babies so what if there was a coat that was human babies" sort of thought experiment - so it got dumped in storage somewhere after a few tentative fur leafleting expeditions. I have only ever worn it around the office. It is not particularly uncomfortable but it's not particularly warm either.