back to top

24 Cats Who Have Accomplished More Than You Will Ever Accomplish In Your Lifetime

Don't let the smug satisfaction of these insufferable overachievers get to you. Just try to ignore them and live your best life.

Posted on

3. These Happy Roommates

These brothers share nourishing tales of the day's accomplishments with each other before bed, while you and your roommate trade passive-aggressive barbs about whose turn it is to do the dishes.

4. This Healthy Teetotaler

The only drinking problem this clean-living health nut has involves negotiating a water fountain, while your drinking problem is slowly destroying your liver, and the lives of everyone you have ever loved.


6. These Best Friends

You: Hey, want to hang out tonight? 👭

Your only friend: Can't tonight! It's date night!!! 😍

Meanwhile, these best friends are just like, "Let's all see if we can squeeze into a cardboard box together and warm ourselves with the furry power of our great and abiding love for one another."

8. This Inspirational Leader

While you simper and fawn around your virulent hell-boss in increasingly desperate hopes of validation, this young visionary is well on her way to achieving her dreams of world domination with help from the labor of lesser beings.


9. This Gentleman Of Leisure

Next time you are thanklessly picking up after the boorish slobs you share your home with, try not to remember that this enviable specimen spends every minute of every day basking in the careful attentions of his many servants.

10. This Overachiever

The metaphorical "Sponge of Achievement" has eluded you since your first mediocre report card, but this cat has already achieved his life's greatest ambition: eventually obtaining a literal sponge to call his own.

11. This High-Flyer

As you gracelessly stumble through another disappointment-filled day, this cat woke up, decided she wanted to see the ground from another perspective and touch the sky with her outstretched fingers and toes, and then just did it.

12. This Culinary Genius

Your idea of a home-cooked meal is warily eyeing a package of pasta in your cabinets and then giving up and ordering Chinese food. Meanwhile, this culinary visionary has ascended beyond mere thoughts of what to eat into the heady realms of how to eat.


13. This Happy Hobbyist

Tonight, as every night, you will return home and flip through your entire Netflix queue with Sisyphean desparation because it is literally the only thing you can think of to pass the time. But this cat will be gleefully chewing on the soft, floppy ears of a perfect bunny.

14. This Dashing Gentleman

While you wearily hitch up your sweatpants to make another run to your fridge for some cold pizza this Friday night, don't expect to see this cat – he's all dressed to the nines and well on the way to his next adventure.

15. This Conflict Resolver

"Do not touch me or look at me!" you want to say to literally everyone all the time. But you don't, and so the greedy, intrusive hordes of humans who brazenly live in your life continue to touch and look at you. This cat has no such worries.

16. This World Traveler

Here's a kitten who is travelling in style on a private jet while the big, smelly man next to you on the bus drifts off to sleep and, almost gently, allows a trickle of drool to drop onto your shoulder.


17. This Responsible Adult

Your children will grow up to make bad relationship decisions, solve conflicts through passive-aggression, and seek happiness solely in binge-watching Gilmore Girls, because THAT IS WHAT YOU WILL HAVE TAUGHT THEM. This cat is going to raise future world leaders.

19. This Life of the Party

You do not meet interesting strangers at parties because you don't go to many parties, but if you did, you would stand quietly in the corner and study your beverage while all the interesting strangers talk to each other. This cat goes to a party and comes home with a fawn.


22. This Anarchist

Confronted with the rigid conservatism of a society obsessed with policing our relationships and the extreme economic pressure to grind away life in a soul-crushing job, this cat chose true love and spooning instead. She has not, thus far, regretted her choice.

23. This Aristocrat

Your room is the size of a closet, your living room is literally in your kitchen, and your sink doesn't really work. This cat is growing bored of the top floor of her tasteful city home and contemplating a move to her estate in the country.

24. And this realist...

This cat is all, "Look. Maybe the very best you can do is dressing up like some kind of bee and then just basically giving up until bedtime. But that's OK, because you're doing your damn best. Let's just live our best lives and be happy about it." Amen.