You know that thing you do where you’re always pretending to be swimming in shark-infested water and disrupting commuters during rush hour? Fucking stop it.
Awesome armbands, dude, but most normal people who regularly make-believe that they are Olympic gymnasts do so on the playground.
I know you guys are in love and everything, but I only have one day left to live, and I’d prefer not to spend it propping my broken body up against the rail next to the courtesy seats, whatever the fuck those are.
Drinking yourself into a catatonic stupor to forget the string of failures that can be loosely defined as your “life” is a ritual that should be reserved for home and family-time. People need to get through these doors right now.
- We've compiled an extensive (but not exhaustive) list of lies, exaggerations, and bullshit from Trump's first 100 days in office 💯
- An admitted fraudster has access to Trump through his wife's job at Mar-a-Lago — and he's tried to use it to his advantage.
- Arkansas executed Kenneth Williams Thursday night — just days before one of the state's execution drugs expires.
- Beginning in 2018, prescription drugs will be free for anyone under the age of 25 in Ontario, Canada, government says.
Report an Issue
Drag to highlight one or more parts of the screen.
We got your feedback, and we'll follow up with you at
Sadly, an error occured while sending your feedback. Please contact firstname.lastname@example.org to let us know.