1. Step 1: Be a monkey. Preferably some kind of snow monkey. This one’s a Japanese Macaque. He’ll do.
2. Step 2: Make this face. But the whole time you are making this face you should also be clandestinely rolling, like, an insanely large snowball that can really do some damage to some monkeys.
3. Step 3: Find a nemesis. This guy is your nemesis. If you look real close, you can see that he’s not just a pretty face: He is ALSO assembling a giant snowball for the likely purpose of winging it at you.
4. Step 4: Say something cutting and hurtful. All diplomatic solutions have been exhausted. This is the point of no return.
5. Step 5: Get him!!! Get him real good with that snowball.
6. Step 6: Hot tub, obvs.
7. That’s pretty much it. You’re free to go kiss up to the nature photographer now, you narcissist.
8. The end.
- Around 100 people drowned this past weekend after two migrant vessels went down in the Mediterranean sea.
- A fire engulfed a historic Serbian Orthodox church in New York City on Sunday hours after the church hosted Easter celebrations.
- And elephants performed for the last time at Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey after years of protest from animal advocates 🐘