1. Did you hear about the Chilean miner who got fired?
His boss thought he was the pits. (Via Scott.)
2. What do you get when you throw a piano down a Chilean mine?
A flat minor.
3. The Chilean miners were great …
…but I liked them better when they were underground.
4. I wouldn’t want to be a Chilean miner …
…It’s such a boring job. (Via Tanner.)
5. Why did the Chilean miner stay in Chile, instead of moving to the Pacific Northwest?
He didn’t like the idea of a place called Ore-gone. (Via Tanner.)
6. How do you confuse a Chilean miner?
Show him two shovels and ask him to take his pick.
7. Miner Disappointment
- "We can never apologize enough." United released its report on the plane dragging accident, and outlined changes it'll make to prevent similar incidents.
- Republicans have breathed new life into their once dead Obamacare replacement and it may be enough to get the bill through the House.
- Sebastian Gorka couldn't make it as a national security expert in Hungary, but that's not stopping him from advising President Trump.
- People are calling the Trump administration's new "criminal alien" hotline to report how they've been victimized by space aliens 👽☎️
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