1. You must read the post in its entirety.
2. If at any point you chuckle wryly, guffaw, or snicker knowingly to yourself, you lose the game. An approving chortle of any kind will lead to immediate disqualification.
3. You must read this post to yourself in a posh English accent.
WARNING: Some of these witticisms are rather droll.
Very well. Let us begin.