1. Showering at night is better than showering in the morning.
2. Sitting down in the shower is better than standing up in the shower.
3. Pickle juice is delicious, nutritious, and a treat for your mouth and body.
4. It's annoying when people say "bless you" after you sneeze and they should mind their own business.
5. Cake is not that good.
6. Waking up early rules.
7. Staying friends with your exes is fine and healthy.
8. Room-temperature butter is the truth.
9. Every Die Hard movie (except the most recent one) is good.
10. Brunch is not bad, but it is dramatically overrated.
11. Concerts are not fun.
12. But running is fun.
13. Sweating is fun, too.
14. Watching a movie at home is better than watching a movie in theatres.
15. Shia LaBeouf is an interesting and legitimate artist.
16. Ketchup should be fridge-cold.
17. Anything fewer than four “ha”s in a “hahahaha” text is rude.
18. Covering yourself with a top sheet is roughly as pleasant and as practical as covering yourself in fire ants.
20. Soda fountain Coke tastes different than a can poured over ice.
21. Beer out of a can tastes weird.
22. Getting presents is more stressful than it's worth.
23. Saying that "everything happens for a reason" is as annoying as it is meaningless.
24. It’s fun and cute and literally what social media is for when friends post about their pets, babies, or what they ate for lunch on Facebook or Twitter.
25. Comic book movies are not good.
26. Strawberries get more credit than they deserve.
27. Taking a nap is usually a bad idea.
28. It’s better to be hot than cold.
29. The best and only way to use your iPhone alarm is to have an alarm setting for every possible time.
30. Vegetables are better than dessert.
31. Christmas is not the best holiday, not by a long shot (Thanksgiving is the best holiday.)
32. It’s better to get a bit wet than be encumbered by an umbrella.
33. Karaoke is only fun if you are a good singer and love attention. It sucks for the rest of us.
34. There's no reason to send cards in 2018. It's a waste of trees.
35. Talking on the phone is easier and better than texting.
36. Bidets are better than toilet paper.
37. Froyo is not that bad!
38. Accidentally leaving your phone at home once in awhile is a nice vacation.
39. Hanging out with your parents is not boring.
40. Using a bathroom stall is less stressful than using a single bathroom because when you walk out of a single bathroom everyone knows it was you.
41. The best and only way to sleep is naked.