1. The classic "ugly car" defense for a dent.
2. The "dickbrain" explanation.
3. The "Jack" move.
4. The movie-star maneuver.
5. The Optimus Prime.
6. The terrifying hex.
7. The appeal to the deviants.
8. The camel curse.
9. The judging-a-book-by-its-cover defense.
10. The Ocarina lament.
11. The political deduction.
12. The rhetorical question.
13. The everyman.
14. The "Welcome to Chicago."
15. The carrot and stick approach.
16. The concerned party.
17. The "look on the bright side" approach.
18. The open threat.
19. The third-party targeting.
20. And finally, here's one from two genuinely good people, just because.
