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    Updated on Dec 19, 2019. Posted on Dec 17, 2019

    I Watched "Avatar" For The First Time 10 Years After It First Came Out And I Have A Lot To Say

    Did this movie really need to be almost three hours long?

    If you are alive and reading this on the internet right now, you are probably one of the many people who has seen Avatar (2009) by James Cameron.

    20th Century Fox

    Remember this? Blockbuster phenomenon, blue people, Zoë Saldana. Until a few months ago, it was the highest grossing film of all time and there are currently four (!!) sequels in development, with the first one scheduled to premiere exactly 10 years after the original.

    But since I've never seen the OG Avatar, I thought I'd celebrate its 10th anniversary by seeing how it holds up.

    20th Century Fox

    1. I can honestly say that my only recollection of Avatar was that the characters are blue and that there were a lot of jokes about it at the Oscars that year. And that something in this movie is called Na'vi.

    2. I automatically dislike a movie when there is a lot of narration, so we're not off to a great start here Avatar.

    3. There are human characters in Avatar??? WHAT. I thought it was all about the blue people! This is entirely not what I was expecting.

    4. Wait, if his brother was the scientist why was this guy allowed to go in his place? Do they just let anyone go into space? It was my understanding that going into space required a lot of very specific education and training.

    5. Oooh he took his brother's place because they were twins…still not sure that's how it works regarding the necessary space experience.

    6. Really not digging the whole "I have nothing to live for because I have a disability" vibe they've given the main character here.

    7. Also, what is his name, can anyone please say his name?

    8. Every time the narration pops up it feels like someone talking in a movie theater and thanks, I hate it.

    9. Even with all this narration I still don't understand why they've brought a whole team of people to this planet. I'm also still thrown by the fact that there are actual human characters in this.

    10. OH Sigourney Weaver is in this movie. I feel like I vaguely knew that. Huh.

    20th Century Fox

    11. WOW I knew the use of the Papyrus font on the poster was widely clowned but damn, seeing it in the subtitles is just too much.

    12. With a budget of over $200 million, they really couldn't have do better than Papyrus subtitles? Suddenly that SNL sketch with Ryan Gosling makes a lot more sense to me.

    13. Jake Sully is his name! Feels like that should have been established sooner.

    14. Sigourney Weaver/Grace is asking the same questions as me regarding this man's preparation, therefore I am right.

    15. I get that she's supposed to be kinda callous in this scene but if we're being honest, wouldn't we all be disappointed if we were offered Jake instead of his twin PhD brother who had three years of avatar training?

    16. "They're pissing on us without even having the courtesy of calling it rain" is a line that nobody should have to say, let alone Sigourney Weaver.

    17. In case anybody was curious, they still haven't explained why the hell they are on this planet.

    20th Century Fox

    18. Oooh it's for mining and exploitation…classic imperialist values. Love to see it.

    19. Wait, but if the avatars took the whole five-year flight to mature, have the other humans been there for way longer than that? The timeline here is very confusing.

    20. Okay fine, the avatars look very cool.

    21. Seems like Jake should be listening to the doctors telling him to chill out since he has none of the relevant training for this, right? Instead he immediately starts running around and annoying everyone (me).

    22. Wait, Michelle Rodriguez is in this?? This is really a shock. I genuinely thought the only people in this movie were Zoë Saldana, Sigourney Weaver, and Sam Worthington. And now you're telling me Letty is in this?

    23. The colonel making Jake talk to him while he does his bench presses is a really weird alpha flex. He also could not more obviously be the villain.

    24. "That was some mean bush..." HAHAHAHAHAHA

    25. HOLD UP, did Jake just agree to spy for him? What a snake. I'm supposed to root for this man? Sam Worthington is very hot, but not hot enough for me to be cool with this.

    26. I get that he said he'd help Jake fix his spinal cord injury but that was after he'd already agreed, so I repeat, SNAKE.

    27. When does Zoë Saldana show up? I thought she was very important…

    28. I legitimately had a full jump scare reaction when those orange flowers closed. But more importantly, why does Jake act like a little boy and touch everything? It's rude and I'm pretty sure he'd be dead if he weren't the lead.

    29. THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR BEING A TWERP, JAKE. Now this terrifying blue jungle cat animal is gonna kill you. (I know he won't actually die, but he really is such a twerp.)

    20th Century Fox

    30. It seems unfair that more than 30 minutes into this movie, I have yet to enjoy Zoë Saldana.

    31. "I don't have all goddamn night." Don't you though, Jake? What the hell else do you need to do besides stay alive in this jungle?

    32. IS IT FINALLY ZOË TIME??

    33. Why is the Na'vi subtitled only about half the time? Frustrating choice.

    34. "Whatever it is I did, I'm sorry." Nice to see that the non-apology was in fine form in 2009.

    35. I'm glad Neytiri is at least calling him stupid, even if she's praising his "good heart" which I have yet to see.

    36. Seriously, what has Jake done so far to make anyone think he has a good heart? I'm waiting.

    37. See, I remember these floating, glowing squid thingys because they made a joke about them at the Oscars that year.

    38. They are called Seeds of the Sacred Tree, which does nothing to explain why they like Jake.

    39. Why does he need to touch everything, my GOD.

    40. Is…is this basically the plot of Pocahontas?
    41. This is just Pocahontas but with blue people! And if John Smith were the lead!
    42. Disney was really nice to let them get away with some pretty blatant borrowing.

    43. Guess that's not a problem anymore since Disney now owns the studio that made this movie.

    20th Century Fox

    44. Jake LITERALLY tries to touch everything! Why would he think It's a good idea to shake the chief's hand when he is clearly seen as the enemy here??

    45. Ooh so he goes back to the humans every time the avatar goes to sleep…interesting, I’m sure that won't bring any complications later.

    46. Grace helpfully listing the names of the four important Na'vi characters really highlights this movie's bad habit of revealing the characters' names well after they've been introduced.

    47. I'm sorry, but how is anybody supposed to root for Jake? All he's done is act like he knows better than everyone and actively betray the people teaching him their culture.

    20th Century Fox

    48. Is Michelle Rodriguez's sole purpose here to sound/look cool in her aviators?

    49. Jake just casually drops the information via voiceover that Grace knew he was giving Quaritch information, but we don't see her say anything to him? We're supposed to believe that this woman was totally cool with having a traitor lead her experiment??

    50. I feel like the whole point of the voiceover narration is to move things along, and yet here we are, barely in the first hour.

    51. "I really hope this tree hugger crap isn't on the final." And I really hope Jake doesn't attempt any more humor.

    52. Is this movie just Jake going through a million near-death experiences and surviving them all through a mix of sheer luck and Neytiri's help? Because that is what I'm getting so far.

    53. You can tell this movie is about a white dude because he has a ton of unearned confidence in areas in which he has zero expertise.

    20th Century Fox

    54. This flying bit is far too long and entirely unnecessary, but I understand that it looks cool and they needed to sell video games.

    55. "I may not be much of a horse guy, but I was born to do this." Were you, Jake? Were you born to do this? Cuz it seems like you've nearly died several times.

    56. Oh look, more flying…

    57. This movie definitely did not need as much flying as it has.

    58. Do the Na'vi have a training program that they usually put people through? Seems like a very well-thought out syllabus for Jake being the first one to successfully integrate into their society.

    59. I feel like Jake hasn't really done enough to become part of the people. Also, do they think he is staying forever? The beginning of the movie said they'd be there for six years right?

    60. And they're just letting him pick a mate? But why??

    61. Oh, I did not know there was a PG sex scene in this movie…

    62. When I told people I was watching this movie for the first time, they said that the only thing they remembered was that the characters connected their braids for sex. James Cameron, this is your legacy.

    20th Century Fox

    63. Oh man, Neytiri is really doing all the heavy lifting in this relationship. Poor woman wakes up about to be crushed by a bulldozer and has to lug her boyfriend's unconscious body to safety.

    64. I see that the Na'vi don't know that the avatars stop working when they go to sleep…but then what do they think happens? They know that they're "dreamwalkers," but I wonder how they think they were able to have Na'vi bodies.

    65. OH I SEE JAKE, now that everything turned out exactly the way you thought it would, you've decided to embrace the culture and call everyone Brother. Still a snake. #sorrynotsorry

    66. Oh damn, the tree falling is actually very sad. Even though I'm not Jake's biggest fan, I will say that the pro-environment message of this movie has aged well.

    67. Oh no, Neytiri's father who we spent no time with has died. Who will take over as leader? It should be Neytiri, but I have a feeling it will not be.

    68. Gotta say, Neytiri and Zoë Saldana are the best part of this movie. I know that's a hot take, but the ten years since this came out have not done Jake's character any favors.

    69. Aw the lil kiddos helping Grace is nice since she's really the only reason that Jake/anyone outside of the community can even attempt to communicate with the Na'vi.

    70. There is still an hour left in this movie and it feels like there should be a lot less than that.

    71. None of the characters that aren't Jake, Neytiri or Grace have made much of an impression so I often forget who is talking.

    72. I guess the bad boy has as well, but he is so cartoonish he mostly makes me laugh.

    73. Oh but he just shot Grace, so I hate him.

    74. This really feels like it would have been better paced as a TV show. I know that nobody would have made this as a TV show in 2009, but too many things have happened since I sat down to watch this two hours ago.

    75. No wonder nobody remembers what happens in this movie. Because EVERYTHING HAPPENS.

    20th Century Fox

    76. I really don't love this "lucky colonizer is rewarded with adoration" storyline they've gone for with Jake.

    77. Neytiri should be chief in the wake of her father's passing, not her former boyfriend or her ex-boyfriend! Why would Jake be chosen as the leader?? He has been here for three months!

    78. "Sometimes your whole life boils down to one insane move." Okay, Jake.

    79. Oh, now he's asking them to help Grace?? After he spent all that time taming a new flying animal??

    80. And now there isn't enough time to save her. No shit, Jake. You spent at least an hour taming the Toruk instead of tending to a bleeding gunshot wound.

    81. Hold up, I did not know until right now that there were more Na'vi clans…feels like they should have told me that sooner.

    82. Jake saying he doesn't believe in Eywa AS HE IS LITERALLY PRAYING TO HER. This man.

    83. Quaritch just called himself "Papa Dragon" without a single hint of irony, and if that doesn't explain why I can't take him seriously as a villain then I don't know what will.

    20th Century Fox

    84. Oh…oh this ending is very violent.

    85. Wait a lot of people are dying!

    86. RIP Tsu Tey :( and RIP Michelle Rodriguez (her character's name is Trudy, but she just doesn't seem like a Trudy to me) :((

    87. I feel like James Cameron did something similar in Titanic. We were having a perfectly nice, relatively tame time on the boat, and then they hit that iceberg and people started dying in really horrifying ways during the climax.

    88. Oh, great! Last minute assist from the animals — we love to see it.

    89. This is all very cool looking, but could be approximately a million hours shorter.

    90. Oookay Neytiri! Coming in riding the scary panther thing from earlier and saving Jake (again).

    91. Oh but then he saves her, cool. The score is now Neytiri: 12987 Jake: 1, so he's still got a lot of catching up to do.

    92. Aaaand she just saved him again. Twice in a row since she also saved his human body.

    20th Century Fox

    93. This movie should have ended 18 times already, but here we still are.

    94. Oh! He's not leaving with the humans! I thought he'd make like John Smith and leave at the end.

    95. He's just gonna leave his human body in the pod thing forever?? Seems unsustainable.

    96. Oh, they're connecting him to the tree to make him be in his avatar forever. Makes sense.

    97. Welp, it's finally over.

    98. This is a good movie, but I really think the fact that I'm watching it in 2019, in a post Game of Thrones and MCU world, has made the CGI less impressive.

    99. Still very cool, especially considering that this came out in 2009. But cool enough for four sequels? IDK dude.

    I have to say I liked this more than I thought I would. Did it need to be three hours? No. Does is need four sequels? Also no. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little intrigued by what Avatar 2 will hold.

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