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Pinterest Recipes No One Has Time To Make

Like any foodie, I enjoy looking through Pinterest and getting ideas for what to do with that head of lettuce that's going bad in my refrigerator. But let's be real: Who has time to make half of these recipes? If you can't microwave, mix it together in one bowl, or throw it on the grill, I might pin it but I sure as hell won't be making it.

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That's more time than I'm willing to put into a cake pop. Choose a color and stick with it. Do you really think your 3-year old is going to remember his/her birthday party ever again? No.

Can you just stop pinning rainbow cakes to your "Must Bake!" board? We both know you're never going to make a rainbow cake and, no, that doesn't make you a bad parent.

If you're going to eat crappy bar food, you're probably going to do it at a crappy bar. Why do I need to know how to make potato skins when I know how to drive to the T.G.I. Fridays in the mall already?

What am I supposed to say about this? Do I love peanut butter--yes. Do I love bourbon--yes. Am I ever going to make doughnuts at home--absolutely not. Do you know how easily grease fires start? Besides they're less than a dollar at Dunkin' Donuts and if I have enough bourbon beforehand I'm not going to know what flavor of doughnut I'm eating anyway.

You could make that in a mason jar or you could make it in a cake pan like any normal person. Seriously, I'm not eating that cake out of a jar. I'm going to dump it out and put it on a plate like any self-respecting person. And since this wasn't my idea in the first place don't you dare ask me to do the dishes.

Yeah, we all know high-fructose corn syrup is evil. But c'mon now. I'm not taking a day off from work to make something you can find in a 3rd grader's lunch box. Who would you even serve these to? Your friends will laugh at you for owning that much twine and your kids won't even look up from their video games.

So whatever happened to the days of "Best Ever Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe!!!" or "How To Hard Boil an Egg In Your Oven"? Learning how to get twice as much servings out of bottled dressings and boil pasta in the microwave? Pinterest has gotten too fancy for me. Maybe Martha Stewart and the rest of the Hamptons have time to bake a 4-tier black and white cake for their co-worker's going away party, but you'll find me in the bakery section of the supermarket.

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